WHOA! I made it to the end of the week. It is friday, and that means that I am not going to school for the next two days. I feel very good right now. I have no homework, and I am happy. Now all I need is my TV and VCR, and then I will be the most happiest son-of-a-bitch in the world. Its also very sunny outside, and its pretty warm.
Last night I felt depressed. I was doing my homework and I just hated life. I hated everything. I was not getting along with my parents, and I saw where my Mom hid my TV. In my goddamned sisters bedroom. The Fat One. She will never want to get rid of my fucking TV. What the hell was my Mom thinking?
So, after I had seen that my sister was watching my fucking TV in her smelly-like-ass room, I was pissed off, confused, and pissed off. I wanted to kill something.
So, I calmly talked to my Mom, in an email, saying that I wanted this week to end. I told her that I was sick of fighting with her, and I told her that I wanted my life back. I told her that I was depressed and that I needed her to stop with this Honor Rule that was killing me. Then in an email, she said that she was just worried about where my grades were going, and that she wanted to help me so that I don't fail in life. She didn't say fail, but that's how I would feel if I screwed up.
She was not going to give me a whole lot of help last night. I did calm her down, and she knows now that I am hurting and that I didn't want to fight.
So I emailed my best buddy in the whole world: PAPA!!!!
Papa in my Dad's Dad. He lives in Florida, and he is very happy with his life. He in in his 60's and is just always happy when I see him. Whenever I am sad, he is definitly the one I talk to, although I don't like to talk to him about depressing things. We normally have great talks about my future, movies, his life as a cop, and sometimes about family, but that is a more sad subject. He is not a cop anymore, of course. He works with teens who have done something bad, and go to his class to learn about bad mistakes. He usually talks to these teens about sex and understanding their parents and school. He is very good at what he does, and he once let me go to a class when I was visiting him a couple years ago.
So I told him my situation with my parents. I told him about my Dad's honor rule. I told him that life was terrible and I needed to get out. I have never talked to Papa like this before. I have never been sad around him, and he knows that I am always happy and that I love life.
He replied today:
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"Hey man!
This letter does not sound like the Christopher that I know so I am guessing that things must be REALLY bad. As to your question �Is there anything that we can do to help� , the answer is clearly YES.
I can understand your depression and it may just be that it is because winter seems to be hanging on and hanging on. You probably need a good dose of sunshine, salt water, 85 degree temps and girls."
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Haha. My favorite place in the whole world is Florida. I have had the greatest talks in my whole life with Papa. I have stayed up until 3 in the morning with him, talking about everything. I'll never forget that night that we stayed up. We had so much fun! Papa is like a kid, kinda. He is a great friend. He'll do anything to make people happy. We laugh all the time, and when I am down in Florida, we take long walks at Daytona Beach and have the greatest time every single time.
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"It takes a lot of understanding to get to really relate well with parents. Teen age years are the worst. Believe me, I have talked to hundreds, no thousands of teen agers and have found only several that seemed to understand their parents. In most cases, teens and parents are going to have conflicts and those are really tough to go through. I was surprised at how much better I was able to get along with my parents (and I fought with them all the time as a teenager) after I got married. I realized then that they were very wise and really great people. Similarly, I had some serious scrapes with your father as a teen and really felt good later on when he said �Dad, thanks for all you did for me as I was growing up�"
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That's some great words of wisdom right there. Papa is just so great. He did say that whatever my parents were asking for, I should do, but after reading his email, I feel that I can. I have definitly gotten my Math grade up, and I just need to promise my parents that I will work hard in Science. I'm sure that they will give me my things back, and I can be back to my normal and healthy life. I hope I am not keeping my hopes to high.
Wow.
One week ago today, I had just heard of diaryland. Thanks Vicky. I read some of her diaries that she has recently written. She's a great writer and very smart.
More words of wisdom:
"Nobody in my family ages well. I think somebody peed in our gene pool."
-Rick Scotti
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