YO EVERYBODY!!!!
How are all y'all doin?
Awesome day today. That's because of the FUCKIN weather!!!
Its fucking A! I'm excited. I didn't write an entry yesterday because it was Monday, and I ALWAYS watch my Tele. That's the television. "King of Queens", "Yes, Dear" "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "Still Standing." Also "CSI: Miami" was very good last night. I stayed up past my bedtime to watch it. A kid, a goody two shoes kinda guy, had some guns and some drugs and planned a shooting spree for his school. Thank god that the writers of that show made it so he gets caught and nobody died. Well, some kid died, but hey, they needed a damned crime scene, right?
Anywho, its beautiful as heaven outside. "Beautiful as heaven"-remember that line, I just came up with it and it sounds really good. Pass it around. You don't have to give me credit, nobody ever does.
Today I was visited by the S.M.A.R.T. program!!! I love those guys!
They kill major time out of my fuckin health class, and I love to hear their stories. One guy was talking about french kissing, and I, ME, I said "shouldn't they be freedom kisses?" And the fucker repeated it, only he said it LOUDER so the whole fuckin class could laugh to him and not with me. MY joke, I'm sure its been said by many, but I am the one who FIRST thought of it, all right?
Anywho, Steve, sweet guy. Awesome sense of humor, believe it or not. He has three kids and is very happy to be a Dad. He owns a night club and I think that he has the best life. He's been to jail many times, and has done drugs, and had sex with many women and has held parties and once he didn't have a life. WOW, this brings out the confidence in myself. Listen, I DON'T do drugs, and I have never had sexual intercourse with anyone. I have my virginity right here in my pants, I haven't lost it.
Yesterday in health I heard a story from a goood looking lady, Evelyn. She had a boyfriend and then her boyfriend had a girlfriend and they got back together and his girlfriend toilet papered her house and told her father, who was a pastor, that his daughter, Evelyn, had sex. Wow. She was so happy when she was telling this story, and told it really fast, and hardly used names. She was nice though, and definitly was a little comedian. I love female comedians. Especially when they talk about sex. Its like "whoa."
OH MAN!!! RAY ROMANO was on SNL (Saturday Night Live) the other night. I think this was Saturday night, lol. He was AWESOME. He sang, he yelled, and sqeaked his voice like he always does, and he embarassed the shit out of himself. THAT WAS AWESOME. I was waiting for that ALL week. Spring Break, of course. It was the best!! And during "Weekend Update," Tina Fey said "penis" a couple times. It just sounded so cool. I don't know why that was so cool, I'm weird. It was awesome though. Ray said penis also. "Penis." I do not ever say that. Not even around friends. I was talking to McB and telling him a joke or something and he had to finish my sentence by saying "Penis."
I'll change the subject, lol. I was playing basketball the other day, and the ball hit my PENIS really hard, and I almost fainted. It was fuckin weird.
I'm kinda anxious to get back out there today, and I am just writing the first thing on my mind. In SMART today, Steve said that men think about sex every 5.3 seconds. Right at the tip of our mind. I don't know if that's true, I've never gotten a fuckin timer and clocked my self. I take out the ruler, just kidding! The yard stick, HAHA, yeah right.
ANYWHO, what's going on!
Playing basketball, after getting back from town the other day I was playing with McB. He finally got his ow hoop at his house!! Yay for him. Now all he needs to do is get a court. His driveway is on a hill. One of McB's neighbors came over to tell McB that his house was on a hill, Matt. Matt's in our grade. He's a really BIG guy. He could kill me if I played basketball. Well, we shot some hoops, and Matt had his own ball, and McB had his ball that I used, and I had the balls to actually play a game of 21 with those guys. Well, Matt's ball was not really pumped and I think that's what caused it to SMACK! me right in the face! Ouch. Huge bruise, but thank God that it hasn't really been noticable. I don't know if it is. Nobody tells me shit when they see me. Well, I guess they thought I already knew it was there. I don't know. "Hey Chris, nice bruise" would satisfy me. Don't say something too mean though.
I play a lot of basketball. When I play basketball, my imagination goes to a galaxy far far away. ChrisLand. My imagination goes way out. This is me NOT thinking about sex though...well, sometimes. I shoot hoops, and my family cannot figure out why the fuck I stay out there so long. Well, we'll never know. When I say "we" I mean you. Anywho...
I'm listening to Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedians in the whole world. Fuck, I don't see many comedians, he IS the best!
There is a play next week that I really, REALLY, want to go to, and my Mom won't sign my permission slip. I will miss most of my classes. She told me "no" last night and said that I had an attitude. "Why are you so mean to me?" she has asked. Well, she's a parent, she made the choice, no condom, and here I am. DAMN. That was her choice. Her whole life she wanted kids, well, fuck, look at her now. Steve will have some bad times, I'm sure. Well, maybe not, he's a good guy. He's a "fun Dad." If you can be a "fun parent" your kids will do good in school and your kids will grow up and have good live.
SO, I kinda want to forge my Mom's signature, but I don't think that I will do that because I have terrible handwriting. So fuck, I don't get to go. I get to stay back with Doug and McB. The play is called "The Piano Lesson" how fuckin good can it be?
Quote of my week:
"We changed the name of the planet 'Uranus' because of all the jokes. They are now sending probes to Urectum"
-I heard this was said on "Futurama" but I changed it so it sounds better, haha.
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