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Spring Fling
2003-04-16, 1:03 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

Weird thing just happened. My sister was yelling at me because I swore at Shadow. Long story short, YOU try saying "Shadow sit" five times really fast! Haha, that's not a true story.

Anywho, Spring Fling...

I heard Paul and Bekah got chosen for my class representatives. Good for them. A lot of people, A LOT, told me that they voted for me. I was actually excited. I didn't keep my hopes up because I knew that more than 15 people would go for anybody else. It would have been so cool though! I was dreaming about it today. But, at the end of the day, I heard that they got chosen.

Paul shares a birthday with me, but I don't really talk to him that much. I talked to him more in Elementary school. Bekah is just a girl, a blonde, who I talk to a lot in my math and science classes. She has a boyfriend, Kyle, who... well, I just don't understand that relationship. I don't know how they met or anything, and, haha, I don't really care. Good for them, and good for her.

Chelsey asked me to Spring Fling, but I kinda don't want to go with her. I'm sorry.

I might not even go to the dance even. I might go to dinner with friends BUT they all want to go to the dance. McB doesn't, I don't think. Eric does, and Doug will. Oh well, my Mom may do some of the driving, but I am not going to the dance. I'll rent a movie and enjoy a bowl of popcorn at home...all alone...and pissed off...maybe.

Its better than being at the dance and pissed off.

I've been asked by a couple girls that I don't want to go with. I feel so special.

I am going to Pizza Hut before the dance. I think Chelsey just assumes that I'm going with her so she is probably going with McB and all of us. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. She doesn't usually hang out wiht all of us. I've told her if she really wants to go with her friends she could, but I don't know. She asked me and I said no.

Bekah asked me the other day if I was going out with Chelsey. Then she wouldn't tell me where she got that idea, and I'm guessing that Chelsey talked with all of them about the Fling.

The only person I have danced with in my life is Vicky. I am keeping it that way for a while.

Anyways, its colder today. Dammit. Not that cold. Maybe I could play some basketball, I don't know.

I went to see a baseball game yesterday with McB. That was cool. I also saw a women's soccer game and a tennis match. Whoa.

I played a game of 21 with McB at my house. I have a bigger court. I still lost. He has all these rules for that game that I'm not used to but getting used to. He's also taller and was on a basketball team. I scored on him many times and I have a better shot from the free throw line, and we even used the three pointer line. Still lost. I am a loser.

After that game my parents left and McB wanted me to go back to the game. Mom told him that Diana could go and so there I go! So I asked Diana and she said sure and got her helmet on for her bike.

I commented on how smart she was wearing a helmet and she said that I should where one. "No, I have my sunglasses."

Well, I learned that McB is actually really good with kids. He is really nice to them. I learned this when he told me that we should walk to the highschool because he didn't want anything to happen. Things that would happen would be Diana getting hurt riding a bike. He walks his sister to her games and doesn't ride a bike. He babysits the kids who live across the street from him. He's good with kids.

Last Sunday though I was talking to him in town and he said that he didn't like kids. I think he said that. He told me that he was never going to have kids. He said that he was good with kids as long as they weren't his.

SOMEBODY stop me here!!!

How the fuck does he know that he won't like his own kids??? He's GOOD with the kiddies and HE'll be bringing them up, not anybody else. Except his wife. I think that he'll get married. The ONLY reason to get married is to have KIDS. That's what I think. Why the fuck get married for the same last name?? I have no clue.

AND, we are too damn young to be making those kinds of decisions anyways. What the fuck are we thinking?

The guy I met yesterday from SMART was a guy who went to jail and all that shit and did drugs and all THAT shit. Now he is happy and has a huge family. He LOVES his kids. I think that it should be the other way around...

We should like OUR kids and not care about others' kids. Well, not care about them totally. We should like others' kids. I don't know. Just thinking, like I always am.

Today SMART came in again. We did a little thing where we trade cups. Some cups had contaminated water and some didn't. Mine didn't to begin with and at the end I had NONE either. This meant that I didn't get an STD. NOPE, no Sexually Transmitted Diseases for me. Maybe that is because the only people I did the cup thing with were guys, haha. And, that is actually true. I was one of the few in the class who did not have an STD. We checked for STD's by adding another liquid to our contaminated water and if it turned pink, then you had an STD. SIXTEEN out of twenty-four people had STD's at the end. How many cups started out with contaminated water? 2, two.

That's good. I hope that stays that way for my whole life. I was also reminded today of how guys get checked for STD's at the doctor. I gotta say it was funny, in our class all of the guys crossed their legs. That was funny. I did too, but HEY!! there was a very good reason. This was not just all of us showing the girls that we have our dicks, this was actually bad information. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you are too young to be reading this diary. We were told about this doctors appointment last year when SMART came to our school. I have forgotten what SMART stands for, dammit.

We learned what STD's are when a guy who worked with the SMART program told us a story, and he had a STD. His name was Deej, and that was a name given to him by his friends. He is getting married now, but I don't know if he'll ever be able to have kids. I don't think so.

So, today I didn't get an STD. Yesterday, I had a kid. A little girl, and when they called my number which meant that I got a girl pregnant, I said "Dammit." Then I thought about naming a kid "Dammit."

"C'mere, Dammit."

"How was school today, Dammit?"

"Finish your dinner, Dammit!"

"Dammit, how's your boyfriend?"

My scenario for me getting a kid was that I was at a party when I was a freshman in College. So, I have a while to wait before I have a kid.

Anywho, I'm talking to Jennifer, and I haven't talked to her in a long time.

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