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Beverages/Kids
2003-05-14, 3:54 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

Wednesday...

Like any other day, I guess.

Today was a good day though, I just cannot think of why it was so good. Yeah, this is bad because later I'm gonna think of what the hell I was supposed to write. Like Doug has said.

Hmm...a couple minutes ago, MINUTES, I knew what to say and here I am saying that I don't know what to say. I am sitting here, drinking some Poweraid that my mom bought me.

Poweraid is using the Matrix. That's a pretty good idea. I wonder how that happened. I went to see "Anger Management" (not again, but I'm talking about before) and there was a Poweraid commercial, using an agent to talk about it, showing a couple clips from the upcoming "The Matrix: Reloaded." That's a really good idea. The Matrix doesn't need Poweraid, but Poweraid needs the Matrix.

I like Gatoraid a lot. My dad has recently been buying Poweraid though. I'm guessing that Poweraid is cheaper. Gatoraid is so cool, and has all these awesome commercials and crap, and does very well. You see a lot of Gatoraid things at football games and stuff. McB bought a Gatoraid once while we went to go see JV play baseball, I think. Okay, I forget who was playing.

Using "The Matrix: Reloaded" has got me to buy Poweraid. Good stuff, go out and get some. Get the green stuff with The Matrix right on the Poweraid.

Naw, fuck it, and go get Jones Soda. That stuff is the shiznit, and if they were to use ANYTHING, that would be the most popular soda ever, I'm sure. They taste like wine coolers. Jones doesn't use any type of billion dollar ad compaigns or whatever. You gotta make a living somehow, and choosing the beverage world is good. Jones just came out with Root Beer flavored. That's cool. I'll never get any because their other flavors are too awesome. Mountain Dew came out with Live Wire. Orange flavored Mountain Dew. This is the same as any other orange flavored pop.

Am I boring you? Do you like pop? I'm sorry, but nothing happened today except for a stupid ass test in health class. About making babies. Not really the sex part, we've covered that. The part where the sperm and egg meet for the first time.

Awww, that's great. I wonder how the egg chooses which sperm. Each sperm probably comes up to the egg and does somethin like "Hey baby, oh yeah, you me, right now, lets go."

Others probably tease her and tell her jokes "Why is there a fence around a graveyard? Because people are just dying to get in!! Haha..." Or, its just the stongest sperm flexing and then is able to get in right away. I don't know. Haha, I'm really stupid.

Anywho, about babies. There are too many people right now that I know who say "I'm never having kids." Its so weird. Today I was talking to Bekah. I've known her since fourth grade, and I was always sure that she wanted to have kids, but after talking to me for a couple minutes, nope. She's "never havin kids."

Its not like I made her choose that, I didn't tell her how terrible kids are. Haha, and I'm sure she didn't mean that.

I actually think kids are pretty terrible though. I've told people this, but once I lost Diana in a Target store. It was really scary. We were picking out clothes for me, and Diana was just gone. She had walked away with a group of little girls. How fucking dumb does she have to be? She hasn't really changed, she's pretty dumb.

Haha, no, I like Diana. Compared to The Fat One, anything is better though. If you have kids that aren't like the Fat One, then you've done a pretty good job. The Fat One is as low as you can get without making it retarded or worse. Diana can get annoying though, like any other kid. Especially her age, Diana is 8 years old.

I wonder if people think that "not havin kids" is cool. Just wondering, like I always am. I've said that I wasn't having kids before. Then I started hearing it all over the place. McB has said it even. He's actually really good with kids though. He is careful and watches out for them. I think I do too, but...but, there is no but, haha, I am good with them. I'll tell you why...

After losing Diana in a Target store, I was always careful of where she went. I was protective. With my cousin, Nick, I was always watching what he was doing. When I was around him, of course. I don't see Nick a lot. I saw him on Mother's Day.

Whenever an adult left me alone with a child younger than me, I was about 8 at this time, I was always around them and watching what they were doing. If they played with sharp objects, I got them away from them, and sat them on the couch. Dad always put me on timeouts, so I tried that too. I don't let kids get into any trouble so I never cared for timeouts. Timeouts are having a kid sit on their ass for a time limit, by the way. In case any of you people haven't heard of them. I don't know a lot of parents anymore who use timeouts. I don't either.

Haha, I'm not a parent though, but this is why I dislike kids. I don't hate kids. Well, haha, I hate some, the rest I tolerhate (yeah, that's not how to spell it, but its funny). They're too much to deal with. Especially right now.

So yeah, I was always protective of the little kids. My mom let me stay home alone when I was so young. I remember her letting me stay home for the first time, and it was so weird because I always had parents in the house when I was younger. I had a day care to go to after school called "Kids Korner" where I was actually very popular. Nick J and I were the top guys there. Especially when we were in fifth grade, because we were the oldest ones.

I learned that kids always ran around in circles and did so much shit, and then, I learned that I wasn't getting punished for what they were doing. So, if kids don't listen to me (like they never did because I was so young and telling them what to do) then why care?

I've never really been a babysitter though. Only to Diana. The Fat One is a piece of shit that sits down in front of the tv and watched it till its really dark outside and then goes to bed. Or she gets yelled at "Get to bed!" Dipshit.

I care about kids, and I just don't like them getting into a lot of trouble. But they do. They get into a lot of it.

Zach, Nick younger brother was doing something and tripped and started crying, screaming, and wouldn't stop. This was Mother's Day last Sunday. I just sat on my chair and watched my uncle Jim pick him up, and take care of him. Uncle Jim's a good guy, a good dad, but left the conversation with me to take care of little Zach.

Later, I foung out that Zach was wearing his older brother, Nick's pants. They were huge and when he walked around, his pants fell off whenever he didn't hold onto them. I started cracking up, and uncle Jim goes "That's the style nowadays, right? Saggin a bit?"

Sadly, he's right. For some people. I don't let my ass out of its denim prison, that's disgusting.

Ryan Mo's girlfriend thang is goin okay, I guess. His girlfriend, Kim, I have talked about her before in the JCC entry was all over him today. She was holding his hand and leaning on him, and putting her head down on him. That's cool, that's a good girlfriend/boyfriend thing, I guess. But I don't think he likes it. I asked Kim if she liked kids, she said "Yes, of course. I want a big family. Not just one kid, but maybe two or three."

"You're the first person I've met in a while like that, Kim." Good luck, Ryan Mo. Do something while you can or forever hold your peace. Hold your piece or hold your peace. I just made that up, haha. Did that sound right?

For all of you who think you're gonna have kids (which all of you should be) here's a famous (to me) quote from his book, my good buddy, Ray Romano...

Quote of the Day:

"After a couple gets married, it's not long until they're asking themselves:

'Are we ready for children?'

'Should we wait a couple years?'

'When is the right time?'

You'd think the answer would be different for every couple, but having gone through it myself, I now know there's only one universal prerequisite that determines whether you're ready.

If I may, its quite simple:

When you wake up one day and say, 'You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again.'

Congradulations, you're ready."

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