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I need to GO
2003-10-06, 10:47 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

Its Monday night, and what a beautiful night it is!?!

That was a question, I haven't paid any attention to the weather from in here. But it IS Monday night and I'll be checking out "Raymond" tonight because that show is awesome.

But first, I'm screwing up in Science class and I'm totally worried about how my parents would react to the grade. I had a 1.5, but VERY close to a 2.0, where Jim the teacher said he wouldn't send out reports on. That guy is still an asshole though. When I got my test back I wanted to yell out "YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE A PISS POOR TEACHER IF YOUR STUDENTS AREN'T DOING WELL!!!"

That pissed me off. I lightly hit the desk about to cry. Oh, I couldn't wait to tell Vicky. I did and she was like "Ffffffuck." Well, that just pisses me off totally because I was confident in that test. I had FUN doing it! I knew EVERYTHING. Then I sucked! FUCK!

In Science I talked with a freshman who, if she didn't get her grades up, her mom would send her to live with her father. Her parents are breaking up. I'll have to keep you posted on this issue, but I need to learn a lot on it. I feel bad for her. So many kids make fun of her because she looks like a ho, and I, myself, make jokes just to humor the freshmen. Its okay, because she's actually nice.

So my grades were kinda screwed up a little bit, but then Maggie "Goorish" told me about my grade in THAT class, which was bumped up to a 4.0!

Lunch was kinda weird, we ate outside which was unexpected but it was nice out there and we had a nice lunch. The next hour though, made me feel like shit. Chels was sitting there almost crying, I wanted to roll under a desk and die. I usually talk to her in that class. Today I caught up on all her entries that I told her I would read and then forget. But we have some good talks. Last year in Global Studies was awesome. This year was cool but hasn't been nearly as fun. I like the thought of brotha and sista though.

After school was too much fun though. Vicky and I are always having the most fun ever. I'm in love, and I always will be.

This whole conflict with Chelsey and Doug and Vicky and I needs more attention at times. Chelsey doesn't know what the hell is going on and I am terrible at explaining stuff and I don't think I understand everything perfectly. Doug, I haven't talked to in a while, but from the sounds of Chels' entries, it sounds like they're having a lot of fun.

~~

I had to finish this entry later. I watched �Raymond.� That show makes me all emotional. Haha, I�m such a lady. I picture me as Ray. I�m so much like him. The episode was about his kid, Mike, who didn�t want to go to school. Ray kept him home, missing out on work, and made him do a bunch of horrible things, haha. Like eating healthy cereal and stuff. Like watching Ray work �BORING!� Then his son told him that kids were teasing him at school. He called one of the teachers �Mommy.� My eyes hurt. I love that show *wipes eyes*

Now there�s the situation with Chelsey, Vicky, Doug, and I. Justin and I are talking too. Chelsey is getting questions answered about everything, I hope. I�m just kinda talking and playing it out. I�m on both sides at times. It hurts me to see Chels in History crying or down. It hurts me to see Vicky frustrated. I want Vicky happy, her happiness means my happiness. I want Chelsey happy. I want Justin happy too. That guy is really awesome. He comforts me sometimes. He needs a girl, dammit, he could find the perfect one anywhere, he�d have a lot of variety, anything he wanted.

Oh well, its late. I�m gonna go cry for Vicky.

You know what, she makes me have a life while I�m not in school. I love her, and I always will no matter what.

Goodbye

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