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"She Said 'Yes'"; Three days left
2003-12-16, 4:01 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

Three days left, and that�s it.

Song of the Day: �It�s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!� by Johnny Mathis.

Last week was an uneventful week that had no good in it at all. This week, think about it, its Tuesday and the school part is over. Oh boy I am so excited, I really am. If you were to look at my face, you�d say �You should be excited.� I have no reply to that, because I already am.

I am home alone at the moment. I�m listening to Christmas music. This year has gone by extremely fast, violently fast. Its been good though. A year ago I was getting out of Drama after New Years, worrying about my 10-line play that nobody had to pay to see. This year I�m worrying about my large lines that I barely have completely memorized. I stayed after school today to help someone else learn their fight with Robin Hood, who was not here today. A guy named Steve is playing Robin, he�s really cool, but not as funny or as wild as he should be. Robin is going to seem like an extra character. I�m happy with that. If I project my voice loud enough, I�ll be memorable.

In Ray the Math teacher�s class yesterday, some girl asked me if I still wanted to be a movie director. I was flabbergasted that somebody like her knew anything about that. I had never spoken to her before. I talked to her a little bit and she said that was my project from computer applications a year ago. A year ago, I was not only getting out of Drama, I was getting out of computer applications. I admitted to her, I didn�t even remember that project let alone what I did it on. Her personality is quiet but she�s nice.

I like the word flabbergasted.

In school there are some classes that only take half the year. I took Spanish so I�ll only be getting out of Advanced Drama. I�m switching to something fun, but I don�t remember it. I only remember liking the idea that I�ll be in it. I�m gonna want to remember it the day we�re switching.

Yesterday there was a terrible �Raymond� on. It was pretty stupid and one of the funniest jokes was making fun of how hard CD�s are to get open. That�s not that funny. I taped it though, darn me. I taped over a good one too. I watched it and then played Vice City. I like that game all of a sudden. One moment it sucks because there�s nothing fun happening, but the next its awesome. Awesome only because you�re in a car chase. After watching �Bad Boys II� you wanna make your own car chase.

�Bad Boys II,� I am jealous of. That movie is really cool. Really far fetched, but cool. It�s a movie that�s good because of the action, like �Blade II.� I bought �Bad Boys II.�

I need a massage.

I like sleeping better. I love the feeling of laying in bed right now. I have a small Christmas tree in my room that�s lighten up and like I�ve said before, I like Christmas lights in the dark. I love the feeling of Christmas. Everybody is happy, and being stressed about spending money on presents is hidden behind happiness. No problems happen around Christmas. Has anybody ever been dumped on Christmas day?

Problems are hidden I guess. Not only around Christmas, but around the year 1999 when Columbine became a nationally known high school. I�ll talk about it later if I remember, don�t look forward to it, its depressing. I�m sure everybody�s heard about the girl. �She said Yes.� She was lined up.

One of the kids with a gun asked �Do you believe in God?�

She said �Yes.�

The guy with the gun asked why but before giving her a chance to answer he shot her in the face as she tried to block it. A part of her finger was blown off. Before that, her family had so many problems though. Wait, why am I talking about this? I�m reading a book that the girl�s mother wrote, �She Said Yes.� It�s a really good book, and it actually has gotten me emotional in class. The parents seemed like good parents, but the girl�s friend became a terrible influence on her. They acted weird and believed in �bewitchment� and stuff like that, I guess. They were gothic people. That�s how I am viewing her. The pictures on the front cover and the pictures in the book show a very pretty girl who is never wearing black or anything �gothic.� She and her friend talked about how parents are the worst thing on the earth and how they were going to kill their parents. This was just joking around, but it led to other things. The parents took everything away, everything. She was on the worst kind of �honor system.� This wasn�t to get on the honor role, this was about trust. The parents were worried for her. She talked about suicide. This book is really effecting me, and I wonder if it would change my style of parenting. I won�t have to worry about that for a long time. If my kids ever talked about suicide, I would think it would be because of where they live. It won�t be because of me. I�ll be too careful. Not �too� careful. The thought really scares me. Suicide is terrible. Its like rape, rape is terrible. Rape has nothing to do with the book I�m reading, but it happens too much in the world. There�s a lot of movies about it. �Braveheart� is one, but it doesn�t bother me in that movie. I like that movie way too much to let it bother me.

None of this has anything to do with Christmas, I just wanted to talk about the book. It�s a good book and it really makes me want to help the mother, but I keep getting thoughts in my mind that the mother just wrote it for money and was a good story teller. Her introduction for the soft cover is convincing enough, but I don�t know.

Christmas is a time for relaxation. Well, after Christmas. I love going to sleep with the Christmas lights. Its well after Thanksgiving and Christmas is too close. Some reason it just doesn�t feel like Christmas. Every year it gets less Christmassy, but this year the feeling has gone way down. I�ll talk about why its not like Christmas in another entry, I don�t feel like writing too much more.

My plans are to make sure Sweetheart has a good birthday this Friday. I got her a present and now I need to get her a Christmas present. Just kidding, haha, Christmas presents. Plural. Christmas is exciting, alright? Everyone should be looking forward to it. Especially Christmas Eve, that�s my favorite day. All day watching Christmas movies like �Frosty the Snowman,� �Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer,� Christmas Vacation,� �How the Grinch Stole Christmas,� and a couple others. At night we have a special dinner with no lights, only candles, and then open one present. I remember last year I opened a memory card for my PS2 and played Grand Theft Auto and beat SO much of it in one night. I don�t remember any Christmas feeling. Christmas should be a time to spend with family, so this year I should just watch another movie with my family.

Plans for this week are to have fun on Vicky�s birthday, and of course make sure she has all the fun she can handle. My parents will be at a play, �Mamma Mia,� so that will make things harder. Her brother is coming to her house to open presents and then I can�t say what I�ll do. I�m not too worried about it. Saturday, I have to go to Drama, and yeah, this is the weekend, I know, and I can�t believe that. Its stupid. But I�ll be going because I don�t skip anything. Sunday I�m hoping to do something very different and fun with Vicky for her birthday. Then I look forward to Christmas!

I just hope the next three days of school don't take FOREVER! Its already Tuesday, we're movin' fast. Lets go.

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