The day before Valentines Day
2004-02-13, 4:51 p.m.

I�m letting out an enormous *sigh* that has been with me all week. Monday was a Monday, even though I didn�t keep track of the time and missed out on seeing �Everybody Loves Raymond.� Tuesday felt like Thursday, and then Wednesday felt like Thursday, and then Thursday felt like Friday. It was painful in a way to live through this week. Today is [finally] Friday. Tomorrow is Valentines day.

I�m not looking forward to Valentines Day yet. I mean, it�s 4:00pm on Friday right now, I have plenty of time to look forward to it tomorrow, when it�s already here. I suppose Victoria and I will do something tomorrow.

When I got to school today, I didn�t see anybody because I was late. I walked into Science while the intern was taking attendance. I don�t think he counted me �tardy.� Then the principal�s voice was heard overhead, which is unusual. He said that there were drunk drivers who were out last night who had black clothes on and I thought he even said that their faces were painted black also. Then he talked about how 12 people were killed. I felt a little bit of excitement.

I disgust myself because I thought that was gonna highlight my day. I thought people had died and that was something new to talk about. The principal read off the names�he named three people before saying �Tyler ___� and then I got scared. I gasped for about 5 seconds, taking the deepest breath I have ever taken. Then a memory came in my mind about when Tyler and I talked about what we were gonna do with our futures. He wants to write, he wanted to go to college. The only real thought that went through my mind in THE moment was that he would never get to do any of that.

Looking at Chelsey with probably the most frightened look on my face didn�t calm me down until she said �Chris, its not real.�

I was in denial, and I thought she was too. A lot more memories went through my mind with him and I was saddened and then angered. This happened this morning, and I still haven�t gotten the feeling out of my body. �I saw some of these people this morning, Chris,� Chels said.

Then I said �Oh, OH, oh God, oh, okay, then its cool then, oh.� And I buried my head. I felt humiliated, it was not real and she said so, and she�s not lying. I think she thought I was going to cry, but that was extremely drastic. Tyler�s name was the only one I heard until seconds later when the principal regained my attention. �Arlo ___� he said at last.

Here�s what the fuck my damn school was doing today. For �Awareness� something or other, about ten people dressed in black and painted their faces white, not black like I thought he said. He said that to scare us. That was the most fucked up shit BECAUSE they were WALKING AROUND this MORNING!

So I just didn�t come to school early. Later on, Jake, who is in my science class said �That�s why you gotta get here early.�

Goddamn, that was awfully scary to me.

So there�s my feelings about someone who I met this year, talked with them, got ordered around by them, and yelled at on stage by them. Someone probably only I liked throughout all of the class. That was my reaction for someone like that. I do like that guy and I want to go see a movie sometime with him. But yeah, I thought that part of today was just so stupid. They didn�t do that last year. Bastards.

Today we celebrated Valentines Day though. That was fun. Second hour comes and I tell Vicky about my test that I am not looking forward to and she tells me �Well, Chris, you have fun in your next class,� as if she was changing the subject. Haha, HMM, what�s up with that?

Jake, a different Jake, not Jake from my science class sits in his seat while the choir come in a sing to him and give him a carnation.

Joke from a year ago: What would happen if the United States only made pink cars? We would be a pink car-nation.

So then the choir left after Maggie, from Drama, said �Hi.� I thought �Hmm, I hope Vicky didn�t get one for me because they�ve already been here and their song to someone else. The class would think it was annoying!�

I did my test thinking about if Vicky did get me one, that I would tell her that the singing was great, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Then, nearing the end of the hour, they come back in and give me a yellow flower ridged red. Some of the boys came in and same for me, and I watched Nikk, who I know from Drama look at me with a too-happy smile and yell �I LOVE YOOOOOOOOU!� He didn�t really yell, he was singing, and so were the other guys including a guy named Sam who works at the famous Spags Bar & Grill. �That one was way better� my class said as they walked out. I don�t know what they were singing, but the ladies who sang to Jake sang �Mr. Sandman.�

That was pretty awesome and wasn�t expected at all until after first hour when I talked to Vicky. Haha, it was wonderful. In sixth hour when I heard �Mr. Sandman� again, I wanted to ask Maggie if she had a long day�walking around the school and singing songs repeatedly. I never found out what the all-men sang. I got women and men singing to me, it was awesome.

Thank you, Vicky.

Fifth hour comes and I�m a little nervous because of the radio shows we had to write. I quickly wrote a page and a half of it before we went up there to present to the class. The story was I was a complaining husband because my wife stole my underwear. Kenji was the announcer, Chels was the interviewer, and Kelly, who I have only mentioned one other time in this diary, played my wife. Kelly talked to me once on IM when I put up an away message saying �SOMEBODY TALK TO ME, I�M GOING INSANE!�

I remember that very well. That was this summer. There were many problems in that perfect summer though. But it was perfect nonetheless. Well, perfect means that it could not have been better.

Anyway, yesterday was odd because Kenji said �You wanna be a movie director, don�t you?�

�Yeah, that would be fun,� I say, trying to sound like it�s only a dream.

�Well start now.�

I have no idea how KENJI knows anything about that. It was weird, yet cool.

Kelly even thought was really into movies �n stuff. She said that I should be doing a lot of the work. She wrote a lot of it with ideas from Kenji and herself yesterday. I threw out ideas, but mine didn�t really go that far with the other two except that I was a complaining husband.

But today I wrote most of it in no time by myself and had Chels copy her lines down on her own script to read to the class. It was fun, and I used a Southern accent. Fun.

Today was a memorable day.

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