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Jobs
2004-03-28, 2:31 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

Lately I have been in a scary movie mode. Mode being a phase or a temporary thing. I watched �The Sixth Sense� last night. That movie has got to be one of my favorites. The upcoming movies I need to be seeing will include �Texas Chainsaw Massacre,� and definitely �Dawn of the Dead.�

�Dawn of the Dead,� is one that would be fun to see with a friend, but I doubt that will happen. Going alone would be hard, because its R rated, which gives me reason to want to go. �Secret Window� is the movie in town and I will be seeing that in the near future. I like Johnny Depp horror movies, if any of you can�t think of any, his includes �Sleepy Hollow,� �From Hell,� �A Nightmare on Elm St.� and I think that�s it.

It�s only a little chilly out, cold. I went outside seconds ago to play basketball for my first time this year. My family was out there thinking they�re all good and all that. The Fat One is one of those people who act depressed but loves herself�like all women.

For some reason, I think a lot while playing basketball. I don�t think about my shots. I think about the future. I think about my fantasies. I think about a lot of things, not everything. I usually think of things that have nothing to do with friends or my own life. I think about movie plots, I think about scripts. That kind of future. If I have never said before, which I might have but I don�t remember, I want to be in the movie business when I get older. If that doesn�t work, a candy shop would be just as good.

Speaking of jobs though, I read in Vicky�s entry something about our town grocery shop. Something about getting the job, and when I read that, I had to think if she got a job there. I want to know how the fuck the coincidence of her getting that job and me filling out an application is so random?

My mom got me an application after talking to some girl about how Felpausch was the best job for her first time.

I want to know how Vicky and I both have the application for the same time of the year!

Am I jealous somehow?

I�m actually pissed off, but not at her, not for the application shit.

I don�t understand how that is so random.

I mean it isn�t really a fucking problem, but WHY?

The stress builds in me for no reason. I don�t understand it. I don�t get it. I don�t know. I don�t want to work anywhere else. Here�s what is going through my mind, she�s gonna get the job, and there won�t be room enough for me. Nobody will get paid as much either if I get it because there�s probably so many people.

Here�s what I�ll do instead: I will live up north for the summer. I will work at a nice restaurant there. That�s my only other option. Or to work at Spags, which I would love to.

The only job I have ever had to do before is work with my grandpa. I get paid pretty well for only a couple days. Mowing the lawn counts as a job, but I didn�t ask for money or accept money because it�s from my grandparents! I hate taking money.

Now I don�t feel like doing anything today. McB is having a party, and I suppose that will be fun. It�s a Halo party again, so I might not even play anyways. At 7:30pm, I plan on seeing �Secret Window,� and that will be alone. Since I told Vicky that she acted like it effected her and did her thing until she got offline. I don�t feel like shit, of course I don�t.

Tomorrow�s Monday, a whole new week of school.

Meanwhile�I hope Vicky gets her job. If she doesn�t, then I definitely won�t anyways.

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