Laying on the floor after just having been sick was my idea of the end of the night. I lifted myself up using the toilet. Penguins were running all over the place. I started seeing different colors of penguins. Why am I seeing these penguins? Dammit. I looked at my Corona thinking �Ah, okay.�
I walked a wobbly path to the bedroom. On the way, I looked in the mirror above the TV. I wore boxers that were striped with blue. Everything in the room was making circles around me. I sat on the bed and cried. The penguin jumped up on the bed and that right there felt like a pat on the back. �How are ya,� she asked in her high voice.
�I don�t know,� I replied, truthfully. My voice was shaky, but quiet.
The TV was off and the room was dark. I staggered over to the window to see the beauty of neon lights making my world. I could see everything. My window was much higher, looking down on the world. Me, being so filled with hate started killing me. My tears were my blood. The bathroom was covered in blood. The pillows on the bed were lightly bloody. The sleeves of my arms were the most bloody, I found out, looking at my white shirt. That�s why I took it off in the first place. Where are my pants?
I looked back at the penguin. She stood on the bed with her chin up, just staring at me. Her eyes were filled with water. The look of her made me want to cry. Now, though, I couldn�t. My eyes were going to burst with bloody tears any second, but they just wouldn�t!
The feeling of my eyes was blinding me. I stopped crying. My mouth opened to make me scream and cry at the same time, but nothing came out, and nothing came out. I only had to look at the penguin to make her hear my story.
I had robbed a bank once and got away with it, but the people I was with sucked. They didn�t do anything right. They weren�t even very nice, to top it all off. They were the only people I could do this stuff with, so they were the best I could get. When one of them were with me alone, it was perfect, we could do anything, and that�s when we were not robbing banks or anything. That was when we were going legit. Everything worked out when I was alone with one of them. The bank job turned out really bad though. I had sent them into the vault while I watched the security cameras in the lobby. How they got in is never to be explained.
The driver outside was one of my friends, he was cool. He had a nice car, drove all of the time, lived out of his car, and owned a Game Cube in the car and we would play it a lot of the time. I could watch him from inside the bank. I hated my life though, I wanted to be outside and on the beaches. I could have very easily, but for some reason, the people I was with seemed to be always having the most fun. Unfortunately, the job went haywire and the guys in the vault were caught by the cops. Screw �em, they�re idiots, I�m outta here. The guy drove us away. The people in the bank couldn�t get out, they had no chance.
The penguin didn�t seem to be listening while she sat on the bed. The vision of the story faded out of my mind. This story was so dumb. I have such an action packed life and yet, I am not satisfied. It never seems that I am satisfied. I didn�t even like this story. I wasn�t exaggerating or anything, it�s just that for the past couple of weeks, I have become a terrible story teller. I get bored with my own voice. When I paused, the penguin asked more than once �What�s wrong?�
I looked out the window to see the city at night. At the bottom of my building, I saw a group of policemen down there. �Oh no, are they after me?�
The penguin was gone. I ran out in the hall, it was brighter out there because the lights were on. I was still in my boxers. I thought about what I would do if they were after me. Who would have sent them? Are they even after me?
As they past by me and laugh at my lack of clothing, they go into my room. They were after me. I get in the elevator to get outta there. I have some extra clothes in my car, and that�s where I spend my night. Nothing is in my hotel, they have nothing on me. They will never get me. That kind of pissed me off though, I just lost a home.
The next morning I wake up in the back seat of my car and decide to hit the road, not knowing where I am going. The hotel isn�t safe anymore. When I get out of the city, I notice that I am awake and not dreaming. Denial kills me. That�s where I live, the state of denial.
Pretty soon I get on a country road, the world is greenish. There are fields around me, filled with wheat. The wheat sways with the wind. I roll down my windows and take in the fresh air. Nobody lives out here, it is so perfect. I have to lean back in my seat, with only one hand on the wheel. I close my eyes to enjoy a new paradise.
The tires roll by themselves without needing any gas. My car slows down by itself. I slowly doze off into a light sleep. The car moves by itself, taking me far away from the city. When I sleep, I dream of the city. I have never fallen asleep to the wheel before this. I dream of the temptation of sex. On the beach, there is only one girl who stands out. I lean up in my sleep, thinking I could touch her, and my foot hits the gas, speeding my car up. 90 mph, 100mph, I gain the speeds I never see in the city. In my dreams, this girl gets farther and farther away, and pretty soon, I notice myself standing still while my surroundings fly past me. Soon, I notice everything is in a box, the world is an enormous cube�that is getting smaller. I awaken and see a box on the side of the road, it�s getting bigger and I am just about to hit it when I swerve around it so fast that my car spins out of control.
I am dizzy. Where the hell am I?
This long road has the smallest box on it. Well above the box, the city is barely to be seen. It is so far away. I wobble my way, looking at the city and almost kick the box. The box cries. When I open it, I see the cutest little dog. I walk it back, carrying it, not letting it anywhere near my body. I set it down in the back of my car, on the leather interior. I have a nice car, so the blanket I have had since I was a baby will have to save my leather seat. �There ya go,� I decide to pet it, only rubbing its neck. No collar.
I stand outside my car and look around. I stop my heavy breathing with the huge amounts of fresh air I can take in. I also look back at the city. Then I look forward, at the long road that doesn�t appear to have an end. Jeez, fields forever. It is day time out, the sun is burning the road. When I get back in my car, I see that the little puppy has fallen asleep. It�s a black lab, my favorite kind of dog.
The front of my car is facing the city because of my violent turn around. This puppy lives in the city, nobody on this long road would put it in a box and leave it. Only somebody from the city. This somebody is not me. I must drive back to the city. This takes me about an hour, and I could see the city all of that time.
As I enter the city, the puppy�s nose bumps my shoulder. I know from owning a dog in my parents� house years ago that she�s gotta go. I laugh, �Alright, alright.�
When I let the dog out at the nearest park, there are kids around. This puppy trots over to the children and bumps her nose to them. I sit in my car with the air conditioning on, and close my eyes, knowing that the kids won�t let her get away. About a minute later, the dog is laying down with the kids. �Alright, it�s time to go, come on,� and the dog doesn�t move. I grab her and without saying anything to the kids, I take her back in the car, and drive away, not knowing what the kids thought of that.
We spend the night in a parking lot with few other people. I lay in the back seat while the dog lies on the floor. I want to pet her, but I decide not to. I just talk, trying to get her comfortable to my voice. Pretty soon, I dream a familiar dream.
I am laying down on a floor as darkness falls over me. The darkness in the shape of a triangle with a line coming out of one of the corners. The dark spot gets bigger. The only other color is blue, a blue that turns my face blue. The blue goes away and everything is black. I feel feverish. It is extremely warm. I start sweating heavily, thinking about where I am. Is this a dream?
I look around at the world, which I can barely see. There are black palm trees. I am standing at the edge of a pool, there is black water. The water is thick. It tastes of salt, like the ocean. Of course I decide to get in, I love the water. I slide myself in. It feels extremely good. I know that this dream will not end. From inside the think black water, I look around. It seems nighttime and everything is black. There is only one other person, the girl who stands out. Around her, behind her, the buildings that make the city are black.
The blackness of the world even fades away as I start slipping into a whole other world. The pool water goes down on my body, and pretty soon only my feet are touching it. I open my eyes for a couple seconds to see an enormous ocean, which is very dark. It is the darkest night, with no moon. I can�t stand anymore. I am in paradise. I have to lie down to enjoy the feeling. I don�t care about anything. I don�t want anything better. Just me and my beach. The world is so warm, the water on my fingers even pleasures me. I am laying in the ocean. I am in love.
I open my mouth, thinking that will help enjoy the feeling.
All too soon, the girl by the side of the pool appears again. I am laying on the side of the pool now, and we are both out of breath.
When I wake up in my car, I am very sweaty and warm. I can hardly stand it. I am alone. I feel the floor in the back seat of the car, and the puppy is gone. I am alone. I have lost my great mood, and am only depressed now. I will never have the dream back.
I get out of my car quickly, and there is a light breeze that feels like something to die for. Where is my dog? I had been satisfied while being with her.
I can�t cry, once again. I should have cried when I had the chance.
The next time I wake up, I am in the hotel again. I am sick of the hotel now, I don�t want to be there. I want to be on the black beach. I want the dog back. I want to see the girl again. The bottle of alcohol in my hand in on the window sill. Opening the window sill, the bottle falls down, and bounces on the road below, after 12 stories of the building.
And it is picked up by the dog. My eyes won't hurt forever.
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