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Class of '05
2005-06-02, 3:01 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

They made sounds that only the greatest crowd in the world could make. They were screaming before the bell rang. Their final bell.

It wasn't until 2nd hour that I was reminded that today was their last day. I didn't want it to end...for them...for just that moment. Man, how exciting is that? Today was the senior's last day. No tears. Everybody was so happy, and that's the way everybody should like it. Their excitement probably still hasn't worn off.

Laura cancelled our pudding day for today. I understand, but I don't know how we can do it tomorrow. She has to baby-sit today. Of all days.

Jimmy gave me a hug, like Laura had earlier. Tomorrow, there's a senior breakfast that I'll have to see or go to or something...Jimmy promised me his senior picture which I considered stealing from someone else. Man, Jimmy used to be the guy I was most not looking forward to losing on this day...and today it just hit me again. Jimmy's unforgettable, though.

Stephanie came up to me and gave me a hug with her eyes kind of giving off a little sparkle. She was sad, but there were no tears yet. I'll joke that she'll forget about me just enough so that she cannot. She has "Bye Bye Birdie" pictures of me that are hanging in her room...me and the rest of the Sweet Apple boys.

Rob, the nicest guy in the class, as I've always said, was voted Nicest Guy in the Class for the mock elections. Whenever I'm around him, I feel like a jackass just because he's that nice. He's also the creative genius behind most of the skits in Video Production. Well, most of the good skits, anyways. I asked him for his senior picture, which I will have to get at his open house. I'm going, definitly.

Cody I saw while I was walking down the hall for the last time with the seniors there. Cody was in the Godzilla skit, an idea by Robert but filmed by myself. Doug and Rob edited it to perfection. Perfection in my book, anyways. Cody also hung out at Brady's a couple of times, and he's a super nice guy, like Rob. He said he'd find me tomorrow to give me his senior picture.

And lastly, as I was walking down the hall one last time, I called out to Sarah, and was going to ask for HER senior picture. She ran up and jumped to me in a great hug, and then pulled her pictures out to show me. I picked one out...probably not the best one...but it wasn't one I had seen before. Sarah is unforgettably nice and was in both of the drama plays I was in.

I walked through the door, not looking back at the gigantic crowd of people I know. Papers were flying all around them. They don't have to think about high school. No more high school drama. They've matured after today. They're gonna cry out in happiness before crying out in sadness. They're gonna move on. They're gonna forget. They're gonna live.

It's a big world out there, that's for sure. The real world, as teachers and parents call it to warn us.

The class of 2005 will be missed and remembered.

It's their party today. It really leaves me here thinking about how empty next year is going to feel. It really puts me in the mood for graduation. I want to graduate. I want out of here. Life just doesn't seem to go anywhere except friends' houses and parties. That is what high school is for though. Not the learning. The socialism. Don't waste your high school years.

It's their party today. And I feel so alone. But how alone will I feel at my party?

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