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Thoughts and Softball Games
2005-06-23, 3:21 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

I have two days to pack a single something.

It's 3:20p.m. and I woke up an hour ago.

I have to work tomorrow, Friday, which takes away packing time.

I may get to sit alone on the plane on Saturday.

I sent an instant message to Katie last night for my first time in years. She didn't respond.

I've been playing a lot of basketball outside in the sun.

My eyes have become extremely sensitive to the sunlight since I always wear sunglasses.

I'm afraid of getting an embarrasing tanline afound my eyes.

Yesterday, I drove my notes (for our movie) over to Justin. Only more than 6 pages. I couldn't tell if he liked them, but he's taking the writing into his own hands.

I'm extremely excited for my cruise.

I won't be worrying about a single thing for the entire week.

Right now I am paranoid about what kind of problem will be started on the cruise...with my dad's side of the family.

I have never been this paranoid about them.

I don't show excitement very well.

I haven't eaten much in the last week.

I've done something with someone everyday so far this summer.

So far this summer has been one of the best.

I filmed the first scene of our movie with Justin and Byrdman.

I suck at acting so much that I will be re-shooting my dialogue. This time I won't be reading from a piece of paper. And I'll be filming myself by myself.

I'm really excited about "War of the Worlds," but can wait until I come back from the Caribbean. I was thinking about calling Doug to go see it...but it comes out on a Friday. Not a Wednesday, like a normal movie.

Diana set a goal for herself to eat 36 ice cream cones on the cruise. That's double what she had last time.

My personal goal is to eat 37 ice cream cones on the cruise.

I plan on going to the beach. I had to wait until after the cruise last time to touch the ocean. Even though we were on the ocean the entire time.

I want to have McDonald's breakfast at the airport on Saturday.

I think I'm gonna need a book on this cruise.

~~

Diana kept trying to make sure that I would go to her softball game. I told her that I would last night, and when the game started at 5p.m., I had to walk to the middle school to see it. I'm not complaining at all, but I would have thought Mom would help make sure that I would make it there.

When I got there, I talked with the other softball mothers who were there just to sit and watch the two games that lasted from 5:30p.m. to 9:30p.m. I thought that was insane and couldn't understand how anybody would want to watch these things for that long.

I mean, Diana had a game the previous night that lasted that long. Mom was even talking about the last inning (which is supposed to give an infinite amount of something) lasting for the duration of the actual game.

I was re-introduced to Diana's 5th grade teacher who reminds me of one of the host/girls from "Ambush Makeover." The girl named Gigi looks exactly like her! I was also introduced to her husband and her new little puppy. It's little things like that that put me into the mood of having or wanting a girlfriend.

I remember seeing Julie and Jacob's new house when they first moved in and was so jealous. I wanted my own house right then and there and I wanted to start painting so I could put my own art on the walls. I wanted to go furniture shopping to get myself a style for my house. I'd want each room to be themed different. Maybe one room would look like it was from a beach house with huge paintings on the wall of an ocean or something. Or maybe an actual picture.

People living together without kids, especially younger people, really gets me thinking. I doubt this train of thought is healthy at all.

Oh well, Diana's teacher definitely didn't come off as a teacher to me. She came off as a person. I hope she's a good teacher. Diana's had a lot of homework, a million times more homework than I had. I don't understand.

Curriculum?

Diana seemed very frustrated at her game. The pitcher was a little bitch and gave Diana fast balls. I think Diana might be afraid of the ball. Then she turned around, a reflex, when the ball came at her. It hit her in the back. Ouch.

Diana admitted later that it made her cry.

Mom got up and went over to the dug-out in front of Diana's team to check on her. I knew Diana would just tell her to get out. Then Mom told everyone that she was crying. I'm sorry, Diana.

In a year, I'll be gone, and it'll be up to Diana to teach our parents how to be parents. I'm finished. Diana's a lot smarter than I was at her age. Although most people choose not to take my advice, I feel like I have a lot to offer other people. And hopefully Diana does. Being a girl gives you a lot more power when it comes to giving advice. Maybe more people want their advice including all of their girlfriends.

For Christmas I got Diana a little journal. Of course, it's something she has to write in, and not as easy as typing. She's going into middle school and will probably be getting online a lot more and learning how to type faster. She's so slow, but it is something you can learn, and middle school may help her learn to type better. Hopefully. Then I'll introduce her to Diaryland.

Here, you can write as randomly as I have been today. I really just haven't felt like writing.

Quote of the Day: "I need to crawl under some blankets under the stars and be cuddled to death. only minus the death part." - Emma, Megan's girl friend.

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