This morning I woke up and readied myself to take my mom to work. My job doesn�t start until 9:15a.m. on Tuesdays, but today was different. For some reason, my mom doesn�t feel that Diana is ready to stay home by herself for a few hours. At her age, I believe I was staying home alone for much longer. Diana�s going into middle school. When I was in middle school, I had all the time after school. Sixth and seventh grade, I had free hours to do whatever I wanted. Back then, I didn�t have the internet. Can you imagine life without the internet? I mean, no internet at all. Ever. Except at school, maybe. And there, you�re working.
Diana wouldn�t even have been awake by now, 11:54a.m. She would be sleeping, and dreaming of being home alone. I remember being home alone was a big deal the first time. Maybe that was because my mom made sure that I understood that I was home alone. Only then could people break into the house. It seemed like the house was less protected now that I was in it...and alone.
But Diana isn�t allowed the pleasure of being home alone yet. She had to go to Grandma�s this morning. Before Diana could be home alone, the Fat One had to be taken out of the house. I tell you, she is the scariest f-ing thing in the morning. Myself not being too kind either in the morning, I just don�t say anything. Same thing with school mornings, which are still mornings, yet so much more painful. Painful is responding to �Have a nice day,� when heading out to school. Painful...is seeing �Back to school ads� during the summer...and in the middle of summer.
What painful isn�t...is saying �Have a nice day� to Mom, dropping her off at work. Well, first of all, she says �Have a nice day� to me, and I say �Mhmm,� not opening my mouth. Secondly, I get to go back home and sleep. But first...I turn on the radio.
I have never listened to Bob and Tom on the radio before, but they were on today. The �best of� show which went on for a couple of hours. Although I wasn�t finding much of it laugh-out-loud funny, their comments and opinions were amusing. �It was found out that you can not see the Great Wall of China from space. The books are now having to be re-written. Why don�t you think the china man could see the Great Wall? Perhaps he was too short? Or maybe he was squinting? This just in...You can see Ben Stiller from any angle in space. He�s in everything now.�
I laid back down in my bed and turned their show on. If I slept at all, I had one dream. I dreamt about Justin and I hosting Williamston Weekly. Chelsey was in the dream to, because she set me up for one joke. She sets me up for jokes sometimes. My jokes are silly...and the ones you can�t help but laugh...sometimes. I�m not one for blowing my own horn, so I should shut up, but I�ll say most of my jokes fail.
While hosting Williamston Weekly, I was able to talk smoothly and say whatever I wanted. Whenever I felt the need to swear (in this 5-minute dream), I would beep myself out, actually saying �beep,� and then make fun of the censors for having to deal with my behavior. I would say things, such as �Welcome to the show,� and �We�ve got a marvelous show for you today.� I would overuse the word, �show,� and act really cheerful, making my own host-personality. Justin, Chelsey, and I would create scripts easily, and film them at night, so that we could have a skit during the show once in a week or so. Before a video sandwich, I would introduce a person from our school to come on the show saying �You may know him from...� and try to build imaginary hype for the guest. Perhaps it would be hilarious or humorous or interesting to hear applause whenever a video sandwich came on. I imagined myself eating a gigantic sandwich so obnoxiously that you couldn�t help but laugh.
Chelsey: �Chris, what�d you do, skip lunch?�
Me: �Yes Chelsey, that is indeed what I did do.�
Justin: �Chris, how could you do such a thing?�
Me: �Well, Justin, I had a big breakfast.�
*drums and cymbals are heard*
With the intro to each show, an attention-grabber by the design of the three of us and the help of Doug, the school would shut up without the �teacher� telling their class to shut up. The three of us would become high school celebrities and everything would be hilarious whenever we would hang out and we could get dates whenever we wanted and not have to worry about a drama with each girl we date...or dude, for Chelsey...maybe.
Then, I got up from bed...the dream would continue in my mind for the following two hours and end shortly after adding this as an entry.
I went upstairs and flickered Diana�s lights on and off and told her to meet me downstairs. I brought up the third season of Everybody Loves Raymond. And about 11 minutes into the chosen episode, I realized how much better it felt to watch the show in the morning. I mean, I just woke up and now I get to indulge myself in Everybody Loves Raymond. I get to laugh with the audience and listen to what the characters are saying to each other. And I caught things in the episode that I hadn�t before...little jokes. I like Late-Night television, but Early-Shows have a different feel to them...since they�re in the morning.
Maybe it was the fact that this is summer vacation. It�s early in the morning, and I am already enjoying my day immensely by practically waking up with the Barone family...after Bob and Tom, of course. That is why we�d be celebrities, because we would have the power to make everybody�s day better. To make someone�s day is to make your own day. To make somebody happier is to make yourself feel good about it.
I had a bowl of sugar with Raisin Bran. You know what I mean. Lotsa sugar. But I don�t think that breakfast only helps make you alert for the rest of the day. Watch some friggin television! Laugh with it rather than choosing to watch some depressing news. Laughter is the most important...meal of the day. As is breakfast. But hardly am I ever up early enough to have breakfast, so laughter becomes more important.
I want to wake up to that summer feel of enjoying some gosh-darn television every morning. It should be required before school...during school....for school.
Late night television seems to come first. I mean, late night in technicalities is early morning for a night owl like me. So technically...it does come first. And if suffices. And that�s what summer is always about. Being able to stay up as late as I want. And then I have the choice of getting up in the morning. If I do, I�ll watch some less-than half and hour TV show from mine or my dad�s DVD collection. I need to get out and get some more variety. Everybody Loves Raymond is definitely sufficient, but variety is good.
It�s summer, I do what I want.
The cool morning air makes it much better, though.
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