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Drama Project ; Frustrations
2005-09-10, 2:38 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

School's good, I have no complaints. So I won't go further than that except to talk about drama. "Theater Production" has been a lot of fun. I've never been good at improvisation in front of a group of people wanting you to improvise to your comic ability.

One thing that you would think would be easy is to give a monologue in front of the class. A long time ago, when our class hadn't even decided upon "Robin Hood," yet, we had to give a monologue to the class. I remember, back then, we also had a little talent show...and I remember doing golf for that. Golf is a stupid talent, but somehow I got laughs out of what I did, making golf sound more complicated, and I remember being very happy about it.

Monologues, though, I got a site for monologues.

whysanity.net/monos ... I�ll add it to the bottom of this page.

I've gone there frequently since, loving to read the writing of someone without having some actor read it to me. The writing, of course, is where stories come from, but actors are actors because they're the truest form of great story tellers. Unless you're Paul Walker and just look bad trying to be dramatic. Or happy. Or funny. Or naked (Joy Ride). I liked "Joy Ride," and "The Fast and the Furious" is one of my favorite movies. But Paul Walker...he's the guy who can inspire anyone to become an actor just because you can watch him and say "I can do better than that."

I'm not saying I'd do better, by the way, just to make that clear. He's making more money than any of us wannabe actors, and he gets to make out under water with JESSICA ALBA in the upcoming "Into the Blue." Hot fuckin' DAMN!

Where was I? Monologues. Yeah, Paul Walker hasn't gotten any monologues more than, like, 4 lines. But anyways, actors are the story tellers. They can give you the situation with a facial expression. Or they should be able to.

Anyways, this year, I was kind of ready with a monologue from "Pulp Fiction," and I had edited out the curse words to make it school appropriate, which wasn't a hard job, since it was the one where he recites part of the bible (to Tim Roth at the end of the movie). But the hard part for me is memorizing. I'm awful at memorizing. And since improvisation doesn't help me, I may end up standing in front of class saying "And I just can't remember the rest of it."

But anyways, Mrs. Theater Production (Mrs. TP) combined a talent show (which wasn't planned) with the monologue. And now we will be performing in front of the school...or anyone who comes at all. My nerves were racking as she talked and described what we could do.

~~

In English 12, Casey's mom is my teacher. "Teacher." She has us read. She puts us into groups. She gives us work to do, and that's it. And she smiles all the time. Casey's told us stories of her mom punishing her (or something) and smiling during it.

No offense to Casey, although I don't think any should be taken. I don't even mean to offend her mom as my teacher. But she's probably been a teacher for a while, and I think if you've been a teacher for too long (like my U.S. History teacher) or your just starting (Like this year's Sociology teacher), then you can't be good.

I dunno, my science teacher was a teacher for four years and he was the worst of all. My math teacher from last year and freshman year also didn't allow me to do too well, either.

But in English 12, we have to read plays. My mom picked out David Ives "All in the Timing," which is a collection of plays, and about 14 of them. Not really a play. One-act plays. Except there is one play that has two-acts and I think I'm gonna do that one even though the teacher said no to my book. It's not a one-act thing, and it's just under one hundred pages. It'll work. I hope.

There's another play in there called "The Philadelphia," which is a really entertaining short play. Yes, I read the whole book, all fourteen plays, and the best ones I've read more than once.

~~

So I've been charging up my camera and I plan on filming myself acting out this play. Sure there's more than one character, but I, like Mike Myers from "Austin Powers," and like Peter Sellers from "Dr. Strangelove," can pull it off. I hope.

I'm nervous, which isn't a good start. I don't like acting for the camera, I can't be comfortable, and always have something in the back of my head that take away from my "performance." And, with a camera, I always feel pressured by timing. That may be number one on my list of how to piss people off...give them a time limit.

So...we'll see how that goes. I have my bitch of a sister in the house, and she is pissing me off so much. I don't know how I let her do it, or why, but shit!

Alright, I just gotta talk about it...so the entry's over, move on and ... Well, she was, like, wrestling around with Diana and and they were both gasping as if they were being hurt. Whatever sounds they were making, it sounded like they were angry...and then Diana started coughing. And THEN I told Diana to stop.

This is one thing I hate about the Fat One, is my parents, and even I myself have to yell at Diana for whatever the Fat One is doing. I think my parents are afraid of the Fat One sometimes, but I just avoid further conflict.

The Fat One started screaming "You are awFUL!! You're yelling at Diana for COUGHING! You are an asshole!"

Now, swearing doesn't bother me...unless someone swears at me. And, almost obviously, especially when that bitch swears at me. I just asked Mom for another word for bitch. I rolled up a magazine and asked Diana why she was coughing. I asked the Fat One why Diana was coughing...they didn't answer. Know why?? Because they know I was yelling at Diana for "rough-housing."

Hah, there's no way they know that, either of them. They're both dumbasses and don't understand any shit or why they would ever get yelled at. To them, they think of themselves as princesses and don't need friends to make them feel better.

Diana spoke up and said she had an "itch" in her throat. I walked out of the room. The Fat One said "I'm glad this is your last year at here," talking about college next year. She's gonna be saying that for the rest of the year. She'll never let me forget that I'm gonna be gone in less than a year. Seriously, she has all these bitchy things to say, and (although I think her latest one about me being out of the house is a beautiful truth) I can't retort.

She's not worth retorting to. She's a big fat bitch...and someday I'll tell her that. But to tell her that, I have to explode, and I can control myself around Diana and probably around Mom and Dad. But she needs to be told off. It'll be a fight, it'll be a physical fight because she can't control herself and will act with violence. And I'm afraid I'll hit her! Not that I care, but it's not like I can say "I've never acted with violence." It'll be self defense.

Okay...enough...I wanted to add an entry, and I was pissed off, like, an hour ago. I'm perfectly fine now. As a matter of fact, I think the bitch is gone. Maybe I'll go watch her "Friends" DVDs.

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