SPECIAL FEATURES
email me at [email protected]

the latest

the entries

the profile

quotes page 1

quotes page 2

quotes page 3

notes

blogspot

host

design

Internet Movie DataBase

IQ Test
Free-IQTest.net - IQ Test Quote of the Day:

"What are you, highschoolers?"
2005-12-29, 3:29 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it, and I hope you had a good one. I know I did. Mine was fantastic. What I did was write up a Christmas list for my mom, like, a month ago...and I hadn�t looked at it since. So everything I got was pretty unexpected and quite a nice surprise. I�m online for my first time since Christmas...�cause I�ve been enjoying everything I got so much. Sure it�s been only four days...but that�s four days without online communication (not something I really need anyways). So maybe it�s not something remarkable...haha...anyways...I�m sad to say it, but I actually was a little greedy Christmas morning. And Christmas Eve. I think we all get a little greedy. I look forward to others liking my gifts as do I like getting a bunch of free stuff. The gift I really wanted was the Star Wars trilogy, besides the fifth season of Everybody Loves Raymond, which I wasn�t expecting at all. But the Star Wars trilogy I wouldn�t have bought for myself, so this was kind of my only chance. Anyways, I watched the first �Star Wars� last night...and it was amazing. The story was better than I remembered, but I hadn�t seen it since I was a kid.

I�ve been feeling really good about myself lately, which is kind of what Christmas is all about. I mean, you�re getting gifts. People are thinking of you and spending money on you. Nona and Papa got me some really great stuff. First of all, my Christmas list was five items long, consisting of mostly Christmas movies. I always open their gifts on Christmas Eve, so I thought a cool family movie was gonna be sufficient for the night. The night gets there, and I feel my gifts...three DVDs, a CD, and a book of some kind. I didn�t remember asking for a book. Well, the book was thick, so that�s no Christmas Eve gift...I feel my DVDs. �Christmas Vacation� was on the list (a renewal, since I own it on VHS (but the end of it is cut off), and since I know that movie is distributed by Warner Brothers, and their cases are different than normal, I choose one of the other two. Okay, it�s between �Nightmare Before Christmas� and �Scrooged.� I thought that the lighter one of the two would be �Scrooged,� and I guessed correctly...so the family movie (which turned out to be just myself) was �Scrooged� with Bill Murray. I think he gives a great performance in that movie...I�d recommend it.

The CD was the �Nightmare Before Christmas� soundtrack, a great one, and the book was �The DaVinci Code� which I was surprised to get (so it pays to not look at your Christmas lists after you write them).

The next morning, I got the �Star Wars� trilogy, a bunch of other movies...definitely the most I have ever received (or bought, for that matter) in one day, including �Casablanca� and �Schindler�s List,� which I have to take back because I got Dad the same copy of �Schindler�s List.� I should be thinking of how wild that coincidence is, but ever since I bought it for him, I was worried that would happen. And I�m taking �Casablanca� back because I want it in widescreen. That�ll give it a more theatrical feel, like how it was meant to be, and that�s supposed to be a timeless classic. It�s, like, the second best movie ever made, says the American Film Industry.

But Christmas day hasn�t been the only reason I�ve been feeling really good...even though everyone should. Two nights ago, after the first set building day (and this already feels like a year ago), I went over to Mary�s house and we all played more than �Harry Potter Scene It,� we played...haha, laugh out loud for me, �Truth or Dare.� I think this was Mary�s idea. There were some big laughs. I mean big...like, instead of rolling on the floor, I went down to bounce my head off a plastic children�s house thing in Mary�s house...it didn�t hurt at all, which made me laugh even harder. What sticks out to me the most was Zak making out with Mary�s lamp. Only because he made quite a big deal about it (breathing in dust can�t be that healthy). I don�t know what else I can say in here about what happened...Justin had a first kiss (I dunno if it counts...because this is just another reason why I hate Truth or Dare). My first kiss was during an f�n game of Truth or Dare.

Truth or Dare...what are we, high schoolers?

That night, and this is why I�ve been feeling super good about myself, was because I was getting a lot of laughs. More laughs than usual...or just stronger laughs. I dunno. It reminded me of the good ol� days with Chelsey, and I was always the center (or just another strong source) of laughter. I dunno...I never think of myself as very funny...I mean, I can�t make myself laugh. I�m not good at even acting like I�m laughing (unless I get started, then I can make something out to be a lot funnier than it is). So last night and the night before, I could say something, and people would react in ways that made me feel really good about myself, and then laugh myself. I�m the kind of guy who would laugh because someone else is laughing. I�m in the moment, you know? My moment.

The second day of set building when just as fast, from 11:30 � 5:00, and that night we went over to Zak�s. I was bored, so I left early at my house, and drove slow, listening to �The Nightmare Before Christmas� soundtrack. I got there, and Casey and Justin were there. So we hung around waiting for people...Zak showed me his new drum set (that guy has quite the talent) and then we tried to play the real �Scene It?� That�s a great game, but the girl�s wanted to do something else. That�s understandable, even though it seemed like everyone else wanted to play. I like sitting back and watching...especially that game, �cause I can pretend like I know it all.

Zach wanted to play �Truth or Dare,� maybe feeling like he missed out the night before when he and his girlfriend Kelly didn�t feel good and had to go home. Throughout the second night of Truth or Dare, I was half worried that Zach and Kelly weren�t having that great of a time. I mean, Truth or Dare with couples sets some boundaries, but this night I was coming up with a lot (or more than anyone else) of good dares. And questions, maybe. Again, I felt good about my pervertedness (even though I think some others took the bigger slice on the perverted cake).

And my response to my...um...comic behavior. I�ve heard it said �Being a comic is like having sex, the more noise you hear, the better you�re doing.�

And again, I�m not saying this because anything I said did I think was funny, but because they apparently had the laughies that could be triggered easilier (my word) than other times.

But yeah, I was just talking to Zach about how much fun he and Kelly had the night before. When you�re in a relationship, like he and Kelly most certainly are, a lot of other things (like Truth or Dare) seems like silly teenagers games. So I was almost scared that they were turned off by their friends. I mean, that�s how it starts, you try to hang out with friend, but they do stupid things that you, as a couple, can�t do, and are turned off by. The point I attempted to make with Zach just now is, you gotta have some sort of maturity when you�re in a relationship. I mean, relationships give you responsibilities, just like being a dad (and husband) gives you certain responsibilities. Having a responsibility makes you more mature. I mean, going out drinking and having sex on weekend (something I�d bet most 20-year-olds do) is immature. Even though you�re 20...or 50...your age doesn�t affect your maturity...your maturity affects your maturity.

ChrisLo1112: so you gotta be more mature on some levels...is what I'm saying
Zach: you are in a relationship?
ChrisLo1112: *sigh* ...no
ChrisLo1112: so I guess I wouldn't know, huh?
Zach: haha ok so your saying I have to be more mature
ChrisLo1112: no...but you gotta be...on some level...'cause you can't go out drinking and screwing when you're in a relationship...which would be immature
Zach: haha u dont do that either
ChrisLo1112: ...like, in a game of Truth or Dare...
ChrisLo1112: haha, no, I don�t. Not that I remember, at least.
Zach: haha

But there were parts of that night that I had to go home to and just think about. �Truth or Dare� is all about embarrassment and humiliation, but I tend to spin the humiliation onto myself in a bad way. Like, instead of having fun with Casey�s lap dance, I was lame and embarrassed myself because of my lameness. That little humiliation. It�s like when someone goes out on a date, and can�t help but run through everything that happened in their head. I mean, haha, when I was lying in bed that night, pondering the imponderables as I always do, I was thinking of what else I could have done to make that funny...I mean, it�s a lap dance, they�re meant to make people smile. There was also the part of the night that I was coming up with stupid things (and if anyone else said �I have something, but it�s probably too stupid,� they were forced to say it), so when I came out with a dare that was too stupid, it was just shot down. (And that is why I won�t repeat it here, haha...but I am sorry I brought it up just to not say it...but trust me...you wouldn�t want to read it here).

It�s funny how the mind thinks of the negative parts of the night. At Mary�s, I can only remember the positives. At Zak�s, I�m remembering the negatives. His house is darker, though, and that affects everything that happens. My mind is quite sensitive to colors. It affects my memory. So after I said all of these stupid things, and after Casey had left, feeling bad about something she had just done in the game (like the few things I had done), I said �I liked it, Casey...I�d lift this pillow off my lap to prove it, but...�

And everybody laughed, and I screamed �I�M BACK!!!� out of my excitement for getting laughs. And that stuck out to me, too. I don�t remember what Casey did that made her leave the room...I don�t ever remember other people being embarrassed...I don�t care. To quote Mary: "We've all reached a point of ease with each other that it wasn't awkward at all (ok, hahaha it was a little awkward sometimes, but in a funny way--no one was sincerely really uncomfortable i dont think), and a lot of crazy shit went down."

But yeah, later that night, I replayed the whole night in my head, looked at how stupid I was (how lame I was)...and couldn�t think of any of the jokes I had said (except for the pillow joke, �cause that was my little comeback). I wanted to leave right after saying that, so that people would remember that as my exit.

And Neil had showed up before I said that. I�d wished he showed up much earlier...that�s another thing I couldn�t get out of my mind...was how Neil thought of me. He�s one of the coolest guys, and I thought everyone wanted to do something with him. He came in and pretty much took over the game...thank God. It was more talkative then, and that�s how I liked it. Talkative as opposed to physical. That�s my preference. But still, I didn�t do anything with him (haha, not that I queerly wanted to, but...)...or Mary.

But my point is that �Truth or Dare� singles people out. It�s just not as fun. I like the laughing game that I just discovered, where two people say words (and/or phrases) until the other one laughs. And this may be the only thing that I can remember me saying that was funny from Mary�s house... �Weiner Bill.�

And Neil, when I played with him, couldn�t resist a laugh on �Dinosaurs do you.� It was off the top of my head, so it came out like an improvisation, so I guess it sounded funny (because he said it did). So �Dinosaurs do you� and �Weiner Bill�...pass �em on.

I mean, they�re not really that funny, but it�s in the moment. But you gotta be careful about the moments, �Truth or Dare� means nothing in the dating world or the world of like (to some people). So I guess it could mess with your head...not mine, though.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Talking about whether noticing men at the gym means you're gay): "I notice a little. Kinda like I noticed your knickknacks...doesn't mean I got a thing for knicknacks." - "What's Wrong with Robert?" episode, season 4, "Everybody Loves Raymond."

Not because I want to, but because I feel like I need to...I owe Casey a good lap dance.

| | Back to Top

Current Entry: ""What are you, highschoolers?""

Previous Entry -- Next Entry

Lets keep it PG, mkay?

Have you missed any?
Life's a beach - 2014-07-11
Faith - 2014-06-11
l SXSW Notes l - 2014-03-28
Teaching; Lower Your Expectations - 2014-03-17
Slut-shaming - 2014-03-15
Back to Top