Where I am Now
2008-03-04, 12:00 a.m.

Ask me the story of how we met, and I�d give you the simple version. It�s a story sweeter minus the embellishments I�d incorporate given more time to tell it. It fits me perfectly in that how we met, for me personally, is too perfect. So something tells me I�m going to have a lot of time to tell it.
For my first try at telling this story, let me leave out anything like the unreal, the outrageous, and the nuts. I will only focus on the unbelievable. This is the true story, based on actual events.

In the first three classes I took out of high school, only one was I excited about. I had plans, big plans after high school, plans I still have, and none of them have changed. I still have the same crazy ideas about who I wanna be, where I want to go, and how I want to change the world. I�m not a teenager anymore, but I remain at the same maturity of my first year in high school. I�ve just gotten older.

I still plan to do everything that I want to, and achieve everything that I am going to. My dreams have never bordered on giving up or giving them up. As we grow older, our dreams should stay the same no matter how real they finally become. Dreams stay the same, and this is why it is in our very human nature to only want more. We settle with what is good for us. One thing that I refused to settle with was my Astrology class.

At first, it was a good idea, it was. I just didn�t have everything I needed. High-speed internet became somewhat of a necessity, and a laptop works anywhere with those capabilities. The necessity was not necessary and the class was dropped. I will add that in the time I was at that class, I enjoyed it. I�m just not that smart of a guy and even if I was, couldn�t do what I needed to, because it was more of an online class, and I only liked what I learned in it. The time for that class was replaced by going to Schuler�s book store and reading everything in my favorite section. This section, made just for me, has anything on film. I mostly read about people who have achieved what I want to. There is no envy here, I assure you. Why do I love the academy awards so much? I love seeing these people happy. And so many people happy and so many people that I know.

Astrology, a classroom that was a planetarium (really, a stararium), as interesting as it was, was more than I bargained for and the deal was done. I�d tell my parents before the end of the semester (that didn�t happen). Was this lying or dishonest? Maybe, but it was for my own good.

The next class I went to was about Art History. This turned out to be my most interesting class. I mean, learning about different cultures and why these people did similar art only to each other�and why their art was so different from anyone else�s. I know I did well in this class, even if all the notes I took only make sense to me�or did make sense to me. I�m the guy who can tell if it�s an Italian film or a German film. Really, I can tell who directed a certain film, needing only a frame to look at�a frame of reference. The class was really great, and the teacher was the best I have ever had in my life. I made sure, after taking my final final, to shake his hand.

The final class I went to in the first weeks of school after high school was a film class. This class I had my good buddy, Byrdman, to help ease any tension. That�s what he�s great at, though. There could be a dramatic moment in real life that Brandon could completely take care of. He makes people think in different ways�because he thinks differently than anybody else I know. He dropped the class for another school, and I�m sure it was better for him, but he has put himself in a hole. A whole lot of money problems�it makes me sick, but he�s my best friend, and you gotta love him. I have nothing but hope for him that he makes it in this world.

This was really the class that got me my MacBookPro. It�s a computer like any Mac, MacBook, or whatever, but I wouldn�t recommend it to anybody not needing a lot of space and the resource for certain things. Any student not going to be using their computer for media files, they mind as well get something that is compatible with anything else they need to buy for it. But it works well, that�s for sure. It got me through my film class.

It was this class I took in hope of getting any friends. That was my reasoning for going to Full Sail�Full Sail, which didn�t work out for me because of the money. Sadly and unfortunately.

But I did meet a girl who, at her apartment, I learned that she was planning on going to Full Sail. Melissa and Ariel met in the class, everyone met in the class, as opposed to meeting beforehand, but I offered to help them with their projects. That was one of those things where I left the class early, but turned around to socialize. Icebreaker. As I�ve always said and always will say, school is only good for the social aspect. If you�re into film, go to a film school and meet people that you could be friends with forever. You�re interested in the same thing at least.

So this girl, I was invited to her house, and learned about her plans on going to Full Sail. How amazing and really random was that? She was amazed that I had heard of Full Sail, let alone was accepted into the school.

The whole class was girls, which was the first thing the teacher noticed on the first day. She was really happy about that and I went home saying that the teacher was very dull and sexist. By the end of the class, only about 8 people showed up, and 5 who cared about anything. After helping Melissa with her one project, it was this five that ended up hanging out. Even the teacher was proud of her own class getting along so well, and joined us on a night out to the movies to see �BeoWolf� in 3D.

As much as this class wasn�t taught well, which I don�t like to say, but it�s true, I was doing what I liked and I liked what I was doing. I liked the teacher�but she had nothing to do with what I was doing. My final project wasn�t very smart or good, but the other one I did, I�m proud of. I did story boards and stuff�and it actually turned out like I wanted.

Of the five of us, not including myself, there were two guys. We were all quiet, the whole class was of quiet people until my icebreaker. One of the guys, an Akira Kurosawa fan, was a pretty funny guy. He and I got along better than anyone else. Both of us are Kurosawa fans. The other was the nicest black guy I�ve ever known. Coming from an undiverse community, I haven�t known too many in the first place.

Then came the day of the final�and we didn�t hang out at all. I was more worried about that than I was for the final, since they all got up and left while I was still testing. I am always the last person testing. I called them all to see what we were doing.

Nothing.

The last day of that class, we all shared our films with the class. I knew mine was really messy, and was the first to go, got it out of the way. Why take a class and then present something I wasn�t proud of? Well, I should have presented my previous film as well. I didn�t have the best film of all the students, and the guy who did had a very very good one.

I was desperate to hang on to these friends, though...Melissa, Ariel, Kasey, David, and Mike. It was after class on the last day that I told them to look me up on Facebook. Facebook�Topher Allen is my name. Actually, it was only Melissa and Kasey I told to do that�and I knew they would. They had to.

That night there was nothing to be said or done. Except study, I guess, but I assure you there was no studying that I did. I went to Byrdman�s house to get on my laptop and talk about the cute chick who I exchanged some charming dialogue with who worked in the video department.

Wednesday was going to be my last day and my last chance to do anything about it�I was to ask her for her phone number. Even if I would only call to ask her email�or her name. I didn�t even know her name. I remember talking to Byrdman about this so much that it could only bother him, except it had only been a few days I had a crush on her and I kept telling Brandon that his advice was really intelligent. He is smart when it comes to women�so why can�t he get some?

FailWitoutTrying: Hello

I asked Brandon who would be randomly Instant Messaging me, giving him their handle. I forget what he said, but it gave me the idea that it was Jake. I think he said it sounded like Jake, which could only give me one idea�it was Jake.

The only reason I was online must have been that Brandon was boring me at his own house. Being not much of a host myself (you come to my house, you watch movies), I didn�t think twice about just getting on my laptop and barely keeping up real-person conversation. But I was just screwing around with Jake, with some very unwitty banter from myself. Something about me calling Brandon a bitchy�not bitchy�but a Bitchy. Hmm�
It was only a few minutes of that before I asked Jake why his font was pink�

It wasn�t Jake, and right after thinking about who it could possibly be, but before I had time to really think, I quickly knew, just knew that it was Kasey.

I was embarrassed, but it was funny. Sometimes you gotta know the difference�when to laugh or laugh later�either way, you gotta laugh. She had gotten my name off Facebook and left me this comment on my Wall:

haha I am just that awesome, and kind of a creepy stalker. Is that really you in your profile pic? lol and that person talking to you on aim that you don't know...ya thats me :p oh yeah smiley but not really...idk

Sounding like a response to something, I must have sent her something first, but yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is how charming I must have been on silly Instant Messager. And I never get on Instant Messager unless I have someone to talk to�this was my first time on in months, and it was for no reason at all.

But everything happens for a reason.

Melissa and Kasey both added me as friends�within five minutes of each other, actually.

I talked to Kasey for the next four hours about everything and nothing (my two favorite topics)�and not wanting to sign off, we bid each other adieu, leaving at least myself wanting more. Brandon and I laid on his bed after I signed off�he was tired�and as gay as we felt in that moment, we�well, I took advantage of the moment as I always do for an uncomfortable opportunity, and turned on some gay porn.

But in the midst of a clip of two guys doing each other doggy-style (one doing the other, to be precise), I was feeling all sentimental about the conversation I�d just had with my new dear friend Kasey. We talked about movies, to relationships, to how she spelled her name different than any other Kasey I knew, to � I think we even got into some sex talk. Next to the everything and nothing, it�s the sex and movies I love to talk about. I was telling Brandon this, and how I feel so good about myself when talking to a lady on Instant Messager�I am able to charm the hell out of whoever I am talking to myself.

He asked me why I couldn�t do that to the cute video girl.

I had completely forgotten about her. Wednesday came, and I have no idea, to this day, how I did on that final for Art-History, but I blew my last chance to even talk to the girl.

Well, Kasey wanted more�I found out, when she called me the next day. She asked me about the other girl, actually, because I had also, early on in the conversation on that Monday night, asked her about how to go about asking a girl for her number. Her advice I had heard before, but she told me that the girl would be lucky because I was such a great guy.

I�m a bitch for compliments.

We talked for another four hours plus 35 minutes�and on our first conversation we talked so much, even reaching out onto the topic of anal sex. In that first conversation, I told her more about myself than my closest friends, which I know only because I told her things that I�d told nobody else before. This conversation was real, though, with talking�not typing.

In the next week�she broke up with her boyfriend. Oh yes, I forgot that little detail. It was the only reason I didn�t like Kasey before our first conversation. I couldn�t. But this just added to how perfect this was for me, because the only girls I liked were either very unsingle or married. It was just the way it had to be. I�m serving this guy�s sentence now, and only happy about it, so I will feel like I owe him. Maybe I�ll have something to give him someday.

In the next month�and starting, officially, after the ball dropped on New Year�s, we started dating.

I�ve pretty much moved out of my parent�s house to live with her. She has the cutest dog that I�ve ever seen named Zoey. We get along splendidly.
My parents got high speed internet for the house. Also, a new widescreen/flatscreen/high-definition television which Kasey and I have watched some classic movies on. For Christmas, I got a new cell phone with an unlimited texting plan, of which I am taking full advantage on. I hate it, but I�m totally one of those kids who are always on their cell phone. Kasey and I share picture messages as well�coming in real handy this month.

And for this month, she will be in Kalamazoo, training to be a pet-groomer. She�ll come back with a full-time job plus benefits, well on her way in a very nice career�even if it�s not something she wants to do forever, she certainly could and do just fine with it.

I�m tired of looking at other women anyways, and I can go back to hating how women act and react to certain things. Kasey�s still a woman, but it�s just easier only having to like one woman. Don�t get me wrong, guys will be guys, and I�m a guy, but only bad guys will look at other girls sexually. I�m a good guy, and I can�t help it�can�t help being good.

I love Kasey.

I�m in love, and now I'm putting it out there.

There are times I will go in for a kiss and not even for a kiss, but just to smell her. There was a night we were all hanging out, we film kids, and I took Kasey�s chair to sit behind her. I would smell her hair�or could�not to be creepy�just couldn�t help it. Now I can whenever I want to.

I am living and breathing Kasey�and thinking about her constantly.

Living with a girl, I�ve never done before or had anything like the experience. So much that I thought would bother me�doesn�t. If it were any other girl, I�m sure it would�but maybe that�s what being in love is.

Maybe it is�I know it is�because it is.

Our relationship is a product of our own. It wasn�t like high school ... there was no input from anyone, not even Brandon in the end. Not with Kasey. So it�s as if I am accepting this award, Kasey herself, on my own behalf�and I have nobody to thank ... except for the award itself.

She wants to be a writer. If there is any such thing as destiny, I�m destined to be with a writer. This has been happening exactly the way it was supposed to happen.

She's that sweetheart, though. She's very cute...has a sweet voice that makes her sound younger (she's less than a year younger than I am). She can be gorgeous. She can be hot, and very sexy. Is able to talk about anything, and very open, yet is shy sometimes. And she loves me. This beautiful girl loves me. She's my girl. She's my sweetheart.

I mean, the only thing I hate is when she says goodnight�its goodbye until later, and I�ve never been good with goodbyes. I hate to leave her, even if it�s just to dream about her.

�Goodnightsweet dreams�� she says, just like that.

My dreams have only gotten sweeter.

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