Yours, Mine, and Ours
2011-02-28, 1:47 pm

Our whole relationship, you said I did not buy anything for us.
I promised you I would never hurt you and I promised not to take anything away from you, respectively. Considering the latter might be more important to you, you can at least appreciate everything I left. Half the circle mirrors. Couch pillows. Those were your investments (or your mom's). Sure, these things were for us, but I think you should be ashamed believing these things were yours. Your children, one day, will see these things and ask where they came from. I might not care if you lie to them, but if I have my chance, they will know the truth. You have your things that are completely yours. Your money went into them.
Everything is money and credit to you.
You believed I bought everything for me.
Nope. It was always us.
You want to forget. You want to regret. You want to burn pictures. I know you will keep the memories you want to. I want to keep the pictures. I will never forget what you gave me, and I appreciate it all because it was from you.

If this has been hard to read, suffice to say...you owe me on the couch. You owe me on the hot tub. I really feel like you owe me, I do. What is love? You know I have so much more to give, so fuck you, Kasey. I deserve a chance, be it another, a second, or the last...I deserve it. I didn't think I deserved it before. Don't whine and cry over what you lost. To you, I doubt you feel like you lost anything but three years. I'm taking that with me, too. This breakup isn't because you didn't get the love you wanted, it's because it wasn't worth fighting for. This is because you need to grow up. I was immature with you. I grew up. This breakup was the best thing that happened to me for that. We both know you haven't learned anything. We may be history, but your history will repeat itself. What a negative thing to think. It's wrong. People change. We learn from mistakes. No matter how many there were or how many times we made them, eventually we learn.

Deep down, you know you have changed. You know you have to change. You just feel you need to start over because I actually know you. You're punishing me because I love you.
I did not take anything that was yours. Had you kept anything that was ours, it would have been destroyed. 3 years meant nothing to you. 3 years has not taught you anything. 3 years...you wasted. Remember that, because you will need that negativity to get over yourself. You're lying to yourself. You denied your love for me. I feel sorry for you.

I love being in love.

Thank you for everything. You meant the world to me. What we had changed my view of the entire world.
Because you couldn't get over your damn self and admit you were wrong too, you'll blame me. I blame me for a lot. But you lost the best thing that ever happened to you. Lie to yourself, tell yourself this wasn't meant to be.
You're just missing out on what it could be.
There is a man out there for you.
With nothing to prove.
He could lie to you.
He could cheat on you.
He could hurt you.
Leave you.
He will never be stuck with you.
He isn't a sure thing.
He doesn't love you right now.
He could take what is yours.

I deserve better, and you know that. That's why you can't get over yourself.
You don't think you can be perfect for me.
Well, I'll take the confidence from you too...
...not that I'll ever be perfect.
But you'll take what you can get.
Good luck.

With love,
Christopher

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