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Break up Journal #8
2011-02-27,
WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.
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Spoke with Uncle Rob for hours.
Being with Aunt Amy, he would have died...emotionally, mentally, or physically.
They had broken up before getting married.
He was brokenhearted and got back together. They made it work.
Had Ben.
and it got worse.
12 years is a long time.
Divorce.
Ben has suffered for it.
Eating disorder...spoiled...still saying Uncle Rob "sucks" at dinner when denied a refill for strawberry shake.
I ended the chat on this note:
Be careful what you wish for.
What is meant to be might not be what you want to be.
Everything happens for a reason, but we might not learn that reason until it is too late. This breakup happened for a reason.
Rob's therapist says that a wall goes up when one person moves away and beyond the relationship.
Sometimes we look at the relationship being bigger and better than what it really was.
We blame ourselves now when it wasn't our fault.
Not always...anyway.
Amy was impossible to argue with. "The wrath of Amy" occured when she isn't wrong. He found true love in Sera.
Ben didn't like sharing his dad...especially with her.
They broke up several times.
Finally she told him to see other people.
Pushed him away.
On a date, he was spotted. When he called her afterwards, it was all over.
She cut him off.
Silent treatment.
He wrote letters. Sent txts. Phone calls.
She was gone.
A year and a half later...he has convinced himself he is over her. He's dating someone else. Still dreams of her. Still dreams of Amy. What is meant to be, more times than not, isn't what you want to be.
There are a million couples who shouldn't be together.
I like to think I got it right. I know what Kasey is missing. I just need to prove it to myself.
3 years is no waste.
Not that long, but long enough to say it was worth it.
Never regret.
Today I am 23.
Only.
Careful what you wish for.
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