Micah 7:8
The Lord has shown you what is good:
This is what the Lord requires:
To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly.
Corrie has to choose:
Love or Misery.
Her faith is in misery. "I don't know if I believe everything happens for a reason. I have never felt love, I'm not sure I even know what it really is. I've never been happy."
Misery can bring the lie that makes us believe we are happy...happiness becomes a feeling, however false, and it is constant because it is not real. It is never living in peace. "You can't promise Florida will bring us peace."
Peace and joy and love...these things are not valued.
"Karla, you're a piece of shit human who thrives on control and you're so narcissistic you'll force Corrie to live the same depraved life. Never knowing true joy or true peace or true love. You demand worship, and you have Corrie under your spell. I never believed a person could be evil until I really got to know you. Hell, I didn't even believe in hell before knowing you. Thanks for that.
You stigmatize righteousness and deny goodness. You're not a Christian, you have never followed Christ a single day in your life. You reject his message, and you're a hypocrite attending church. The sick thing is...you know this is true. And you still act ignorant. You're mentally ill, though. Your disorder is narcissism. Well, ignorance may not be a sin, but you have committed sin after sin in the eyes of Jesus because knowing right and doing wrong is exactly that. You know better, you just reject it.
You'll take Corrie to hell with you just because you don't want to be alone. Misery loves company, and you're a miserable human. You're damned, Karla, you have a false sense of salvation ("The Sinners Prayer?" "The Prayer of Salvation?" That's all that matters to you? That's all that matters to Corrie because that's what she was taught. By YOU! You don't understand a single message that Christ taught and wouldn't understand a parable even if it were explained to you by Christ himself).
And you lie to yourself constantly because all of your logic depends on contradiction. You know I'm a good father, and you want me out of Chandler's life. That's why I'm a threat. Because I am good. Because I am loving. Because I don't fear you. Because I don't revere you.
And Corrie is so indoctrinated just for the sake of your control. She's admitted to me she doesn't know what love is and never has. She's admitted to me she doesn't know what happiness feels like and never has. She was never convinced that peace was possible...because you were in the back of her mind.
Ever since Michigan, she had lost faith. We were doing great! And then you put it in her mind that she should feel bitter for me not proposing. Then we were engaged! And you made her feel guilty for leaving.
And I'm your scapegoat. I get the blame for EVERYTHING. It's taught that we have a diseased relationship when you are the disease, the negativity, the doubt, the fear...
I've felt the abuse that your children have come to know (Travis acknowledges it, Corrie never woke up to it, and maybe she doesn't have to). I'm the one who didn't put his "pecker in a rubber." I'm the one who "forced" and "controlled" every detail to get us to Florida.
Now, I don't blame anyone...because I'm not a damned child who dispenses his responsibilities on other people, but it was my decision to stay in Austin and get an apartment. And Corrie also made love to me and chose to do so in trust and knew I loved her. She was pleasured by me in ways that you have never known (and ways she had never known before me) and you never let her enjoy it. You made her feel ashamed because you are not proud of her. And she hates herself because of you. She's disgusted by her own body because of you. Or do you blame her for those things?
Do you blame your children for their troubles?
Is everything their fault?
You put your pride above God. And you force Corrie to put you above God. She told me she doesn't "even know if everything happens for a reason."
She doesn't believe in God.
She doesn't follow Christ.
She thinks she does...
But Corrie hasn't opened a bible a single once in the entire time I've known her. Why? Because you're her God. You teach her the scripture she needs to know. You are the one who demands worship...because if she doesn't worship you, you will reject her and deny her and guilt her and shame her. Just like the God you believe in, right?
"Love me or burn in hell?"
Is that love?
You've done it her whole life. You taught her to be afraid. And it's why she has no confidence, it's why she's anxious, and it's why she's hateful. It's why she watches only happy things...and rejects scary things...it's why she lives in fantasy...it's why she feels entitled to an easy life...idle is ideal.
I've seen the goodness in her, but rather than facing her problems, you've taught her to give up. "It's the man's fault. All men are assholes."
And Chandler will be raised to be a little entitled shit just like you were. Spoiled and not loved. Shamed and not welcomed. Denied and not embraced.
You did the same to Corrie.
"She's always believed she was never smart enough," you told me, talking about college and Corrie. You blamed her...and never encouraged her. You demanded, you forced, you made rules...but you didn't show her the tools necessary...which she never knew she always had.
You don't like children. You're not good with kids. You hate everyone you meet but demand allegiance from your own family because you're depraved and alone and small and you're less and you're unworthy and you're wrong.
And you've been wrong your whole life.
And evil swallows those more righteous than they are.
Which is why I am an outcast.
You were thinking just a second ago "Well, Topher never went to college, perhaps his parents made him feel stupid, too." Nope. I was a rebel. Like Travis, I chose to travel and run away and pursue life. I made mistakes, absolutely. But because I don't regret my mistakes...you believe I think I'm "always perfect."
And you think I'm self-righteous because I know you've been wrong and done wrong your whole life.
Because you know I have no faith in you.
The only reason I don't...and the reason I have never had faith in you...is because Satan has never been present in my life. I have only known love and acceptance...and you may acknowledge I have had anger in my life...and that's true...but never...never have I known hate.
You live in hate. You live in fear. And you live in misery.
I have felt these things from you ever since we got pregnant. THAT'S why I have no faith in you.
Prove me wrong.
But you're taking Corrie down with you. And Chandler is the ultimate victim, and you'll damn yourself for eternity just because you're more comfortable in the darkness. Unfortunately for you, God's plan brought Corrie and Chandler to the light...literally, "The Sunshine State." And you couldn't just accept it. You're too stubborn.
Isaiah 30:1
"Woe to the obstinate children," the prophet declares. (Obstinate means stubborn and refusing to change one's opinion, which is also why I'm a threat to you...because you know I learn and evolve and grow in self-education)
"Woe to those who carry out plans that are not mine, forming an alliance, but not by my spirit, healing sin upon sin."
You can't get past the reality, though. "You're not living in God's plan," you say. "You're living in sin, and I am not proud of how you've been living."
This is your judgment of us...because we're not living "biblically."
What the fuck do you know?
Who do you think are you?
Who are you to judge?
You would tell Corrie you were proud, but never promoted her joy and reason to be proud. You kept her in the dark, and it started in Michigan. It was present in Texas, certainly. But when Corrie was with me and just me, she was in love...
I saw it (hope) in Florida, the first time we went.
She almost proposed to me that weekend.
Eventually she did propose...in a letter...but I didn't feel they were her words.
They were yours, weren't they?
I saw it (acceptance and appreciation) when she said "yes." Finally we were engaged!
I saw it (ambition) when she packed up her life in Texas. I saw it (enthusiasm) the trip up to Michigan. But then you took over. The farther away she was, the more your depravity and darkness and negativity and hatred and...just plain fear...ruled over you. And her.
Blame was your only strategy beyond that, because you were lost.
You are lost.
But you don't have to lose.
Nobody does.
Corrie can have her family.
She will always have you.
She will always have me, too, and you have to accept that.
Corrie can make a family of her own. She can have love and acceptance and joy and peace and dogs and a house and two guys that love and adore her and accept her and truly want her to be happy and joyful. But you have to let her see these things.
Otherwise, she will always invent problems.
Any stupid thing I say, she will latch onto and let it hurt her and she will obsess over it and become hateful...become wrath. Inspired by you.
"I would have slapped you," you said, as if you can't take a meaningless insult, as if you overthink and create meaning...as if you're in prison looking to pick a fight. The world does feel like a prison to you?
That's why your politics and outlook are based on the world ending. That's your escape.
Chandler is the higher power here. He is the greater purpose and the ultimate reality.
Love him.
Accept him. No matter what.
Accept his future.
Accept his family.
Accept his potential.
Accept that he will grow to love.
Accept that he will grow to love mercy.
Accept that he will grow to live justly.
Accept that he will walk humbly...with God.
(Micah 6:8)
Corinthians 13:
"Love is patient"...be calm.
"Love is kind"...be nice.
"It does not envy"...do not be jealous of God's plan.
"It is not proud"...do not put your pride above God's.
"It is not self-seeking"...do not take Chandler away from his loving Papa for your own gain. You've raised your children, let me raise mine.
"It is not easily angered"...don't seek to be offended.
"It keeps no record of wrongs"...be forgiving, merciful
"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"...love is unconditional. And you know that's what I'm capable of, and I will always accept Corrie and I'll always be a good father to Chandler. And I would destroy anyone who hurt them. I will never let harm come to them.
"Love never fails"...again, true love is unconditional because it is accepting. Acceptance is love.
"When I was a child," tells Paul, "I reasoned like a child and thought like a child and talked like a child."
It's time to grow up, Karla. You talk about how things "should be," with the marriage first and the house first and the job first...and then you proclaim I live in a fantasy. What you mean by that is that I hope for a future that you cannot fathom...one of love.
You talk about how things SHOULD have been...but say I live in a fantasy because I talk about things that COULD be...
You taught Corrie to be an idealist.
Well, I'm just an optimist.
Corrie was raised on television and imagined fictional characters existed in reality. I exist under these impossible standards because I'm no prince or hero...and you encourage her disappointment! Corrie sees the romance on TV and longs for fictional characters, and you don't say "They aren't real," you say "Topher is an asshole for not fulfilling your prophecies."
"Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease. For we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part will disappear." Paul is saying that expectations will cease, and what "should be," as you say...will never happen. And you don't get it.
That's because you do know I'm right and you think I use it as power when the truth is you fear being powerless. But I don't proclaim power. I'm not controlling. You know this. Corrie has all the freedom she needs and wants (although money is tight, but should that matter SO much? Or does greed and desire overcome necessity and reality?) Corrie makes her own decisions...or at least she thinks she does, but it's not me in the back of her head. It's you.
"When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me," Paul influences us.
Let go. Grow up. Let Corrie grow up. Don't force her in a position and not give her the tools...What are the tools?
"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
What is love? It is acceptance, and this is God's gift to the world...everyone.
1 John 4:7
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 4:8 Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love."
Will you continue to put yourself above God?
Or will your narcissistic brain disorder turn it around on me? Will you deny Corrie the opportunity to grow in love (and she's got a lot of work, thanks to you). Will you reject the love I have for Corrie?
You'll say I don't love her.
You'll say it isn't there.
And maybe you won't see that it is...you won't see that I've never given up...You won't see the love I have for Chandler. You'll say that I'm a good father, a loving father...sure, you've acknowledged these things as truth...but you'll deny Chandler that true love. You'll take it away from him knowing you cannot give as much as I can.
"Though seeing, they do not see,
Though hearing, they do not hear or understand."
This is why Christ speaks in parables.
This is why you don't get it.
This is why you're not a Christian.
But deep down...you know I'm right.
And you should be ashamed of yourself if you continue to do wrong, teaching Corrie hatred and only showing her darkness.
Why am I writing this?
John 15:24
If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and they have hated both me and my Father. 25 But this is to fulfill what is written in their law: 'They hated me without reason."
You say you don't hate me, but all evidence is to the contrary and you know I know better.
Do I hate you? Do I accept you?
You'll come up with your own reason.
You believe what you want to believe.
You think in contradictions.
It's why you can't ever make up your damned mind.
I do not fear your response to this.
(This is why I'm such a threat to you and exactly how you know I'm a true Christian, which makes you uncomfortable)
But now you know ... I know your sins.
And so does God.
I don't blame you. This is how you were taught and how you were raised...it's how your parents were taught and raised...depravity was a constant theme in your childhood. But you do need to atone for your sins. You'll be forgiven. God accepts you. I accept you, too. I won't take Corrie away from you. You don't have to be depraved. We won't reject you or deny you anything...and maybe you won't reject or deny yourself. Maybe you'll even feel loved. But you have to accept it, and doing so could be the greatest thing you ever learn. To love. And to be loved in return.
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