9-4
The control over her hit an apex and Corrie ran away. This hurt Karla and Karla was lost for a while, so, when Corrie came back, as an obedient young lady, Karla had to earn control another way. So she let her negativity get the best of her and Corrie always had two sides to her. Neither truly worshipped God or Christ. That's why, now, Travis is the weak one. He doesn't worship Karla. There's the happy side to Corrie, and there's what feeds her happiness. Joy was unbeknownst, given only in material pleasures and prophecies, the hope of what Corrie saw on television. Indoctrination from media and the church enabled Karla to control her...
...and I'm a threat...
...because Karla sees Chandler as her baby.
Sinners are addicted to sin.
They take the non-sinners with them.
Depravation is traumatic and feeling alone causes them to fear their own damnation, they don't want to go through that alone.
I didn't believe in hell or evil until I got to know Karla.
She's brain-damaged and a slave to doing wrong. And she knows better, she just can't control her own fear and chooses what she knows best: evil. Negativity. Wrong-doing.
She's had a mindset her whole life and poisoning Chandler's mind will prove she's been right, because that's human nature...to pass on our "wisdom" so we can live forever through our children. The misery is hell, and dying in hate is eternal.
Really, this is Rodney's fault. For not being enough and for not giving Karla the comfort she needs, she involves herself in her daughter's relationship...and Corrie enables that. They're piece of shit anti-intellectual humans...and they've been taught that sin is real and evil is real and yet they're human, so they cling to what they know best and become hypocrites doing so.
It's my fault for not being enough...but what is?
Rodney isn't...
...so what is?
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9-3
I get it now.
"We're all sinners" is a scapegoat, blame is distributed unto others to prevent their own guilt. There is no sin in love. There is no sin in knowing right and doing right. This is why she's a miserable person. She's depraved.
We're all sinners because we are selfish, but knowing and choosing love keeps us from being damned.
I wish hell were a real place, but it's an earthly concept that we bring upon ourselves.
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9-2
I've pretty much always known that she wasn't a practicing Christian. I've pretty much always understood the hypocrisy. But I never believed in evil. I had given the benefit of any doubts of their intelligence and had believed there was goodness in all people. While I still believe this, I now see that they are threatened by goodness because it makes them feel guilty. Evil rejects the good. She believes that she is guaranteed salvation because to be Christian is a door that has been unlocked permanently.
Knowing goodness is an obligation. The Christian in them says "I'll allow them in my home and I won't charge them so much..." but she's obsessed with my bank account. This is money owed to them.
The Christian says "I won't rob this bank because I don't want to go to hell and answer to Satan."
The atheist says "I don't want to rob this bank because that's a dick thing to do."
To Karla:
You've been depraved your whole life. You're damned and you know it and you'll take Chandler with you to hell, you anti-Christian witch. I didn't know evil existed until I finally got to know you. I'm onto you, finally. Let her go.
-----------------------
I've always known what I was fighting for. I've always known why I wouldn't give up. Now I know what I'm fighting against.
It's the emotional mind that rules them and they use their rational mind negatively. They live in the past or the future and do not accept the now.
—-----------------------
Karla, you should leave her alone.
You don't love her and you never have and you never knew what love was or what it should be.
You're not a Christian and you never have been and Jesus loves you and you reject it.
You've kept Corrie depraved and you've tried to control her because she's all you have given to this world, and you're corrupting her to be a hateful person and she's wanting to become a lonely person, and she will hurt Chandler more than anyone treating him like you treated her.
You deprived her to be able to say you're the only one who loves her.
You spoiled her and called that love.
For you, love is always being there.
And that's a disease, because even diseases don't go away. Diseases don't allow us to go on without us. They don't accept existing alone because they can't live without it. Rodney accepts the disease and he's ignorant and stupid enough to be happy about it. But he doesn't think for himself, he can't. That's why he can live with so much hate and contempt for the world and yet still pretend he's happy. Ignorance is bliss. And your love is not true. It's fake. And it's a lie. And it's evil.
It took me this long to realize.
You're not just depraved.
You're not just miserable.
You're not just fearful.
You're not just controlling.
You're not just a narcissist.
You're evil.
Funny thing is...it took me so long to realize because I didn't believe in evil. I was actually stubbornly against the idea. I told myself "there's no way. She knows not what she's doing."
I didn't think you or anyone was capable of doing something just to be so selfish.
But you know what is right, you just fight against it.
I never believed in hell...
I never believed in the devil...
I never believed in evil...
...until I knew you. And now I know you. And you're taking a baby boy away from a loving father and you're using his mother to do it.
Corrie needs therapy, she needs counseling, and she needs to learn what love really is. Rather than judging everything with hate, including her own body, and relying on judgment from others just so she can hear positivity...
...and that's the extent of positivity and goodness in you. The little you allow around you so you can keep the facade going. You've brainwashed Corrie her whole life and she may never know love because of it...except for Chandler, who may also never know true love because of it. Because of you.
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