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You made the choice to have the baby with me. Many parents separate for the betterment of the kids and many stay together for the betterment of the kid, and the kid is the wrong reason to stay together, but he is our ultimate purpose and love should come from that. We need to accept each other and work together. I pick up where you left off and you are there when I'm not, that's balance and that's working.
If you take him, that's a selfish act out of hate, and it's not because you have love for me or him...because accepting reality is having love for him, and he needs both of us. He needs a life.
If you gave Florida an honest chance and honestly tried to make the best of it, you would see that it is the best we can do. You made the decision to try, but you never tried. There was always the fear of being without your mom and that's where I should come in, but you don't let me. If we focused on what could happen rather than what should happen, we would find reality to be better than fantasy...
...and Chandler has two loving parents, and love should not be taken away, which is all you're doing. In favor of Karla who is on her phone most of the time and hates kids videos. She will say she likes something and say she hates the same thing in the same minute, contradicting herself at every step. She's not someone you can count on and not someone Chandler can look up to. She doesn't believe in love or anything, she believes in herself and you worship the same thing. If that's reality...then you at least accept that you know what's right and you're choosing to do wrong. You're choosing not to work and not to put effort towards a family or a relationship even if it benefits Chandler.
Knowing right and choosing wrong, that's sin.
And Karla favors the parts of the bible that specifically dispute Jesus, if you want to raise him to be Christian, you can't do it with them.
It's an evil act, a selfish one, and you not trying is what Chandler will learn from you. That's not being a mother whatsoever, that's just having a kid...and he's not better off that way...
If you could put honest effort into a life of family, then you could be enlightened to the fact that this is right. We are right, and we are different, but saying we are "too different" is just wrong...I don't push you away, you take yourself away. If you make a life of what you want...that's fine and I won't blame you, but if you don't make a life for what Chandler needs...then I believe you're doing it for the wrong reasons.
Life...and honest effort...kills negativity. There's nothing to be negative about. There isn't. Karla is negative. That's maybe how you were raised...and I see how that makes us "too different." But that boy needs love and you haven't had it...you haven't felt love...and neither will he, and that's why he deserves us to try. You haven't tried since he was born, and I tried in my own way that wasn't good enough, but I never gave up. I didn't contradict myself, either, I was consistent and stuck to my word and my strengths are that I am a good guy...
I may not be a good man in your eyes or your mother's eyes, but I try to be...
...and the negativity has to stop.
The insults have to stop. Your opinion is the lowest form of knowledge and your empathy is the highest, and that's what we need to focus on. You assuming ulterior motives or hidden agendas or secret plans has got to stop...you have to choose to trust me. And if I destroy that, that's on me, but I don't...and I wouldn't. I am an open book to questions, but you have to be as well.
"What's in your savings?"
"Why do you need to know? How do you benefit from that knowledge? Do you feel entitled to it?"
The monetary system is an evil one, but unfortunately it is reality, so I understand the connection and the desperation that you feel because of it. It's scary not being able to depend on it.
Get over it.
We are doing okay and even pretty good.
And I can have a sense of humor when I don't have to constantly think about repercussions and what will happen, we can live in the moment and be silly. That's my sense of humor anyway. Not sophisticated at all.
I can teach you to live in the moment, and it doesn't take that much effort, but you do have to let go of a lot in life...and you'll learn true love...true acceptance...true peace...and true joy. The greatest of these is love...it's everything Jesus spoke about and everything your mother doesn't care for.
Life is full of joy...but you have to be accepting and not judging and not wishing and not hoping, but just living.
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Do you believe, in any way, that your decisions are made for Chandler? Do you believe this is what he would want? What he would decide?
Will Texas make you a stronger mother?
Will your frustrations with him cease?
Will you magically become more authoritative and less permissive?
I don't believe it for a second. I believe you're lazy and you'll work less. Maybe you get a job, and maybe you consider that working harder for him...being self sufficient and having him experience a working mother certainly has its benefits, but is any of it for him?
It's certainly not for my benefit, and he needs me as much as I need him.
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Mark my words, if Chandler has anything to fear, I will blame you, and you better believe you have something to fear in me. You are responsible for keeping him fearless and if you fail, I'll be there to pick him up. If he cannot be picked up because he is so damaged, that I will consider your fault, and you will be punished. And he will be saved. If he is beyond saving, that will be your fault, and the punishment is on you as well.
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