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God, the Superego
2020-12-30, 9:40 am

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

Question:

I have known God, and had Him in my life ever since I can remember. I don't know, and I've never felt what it is like not to have God in your life. I pray I will never know
Please can you tell me what it felt like for you before you knew God?
Instead of going to church at 16 and becoming part of the body of Christ I went to the pub and became part of other things. I have disobeyed God when he has asked me to stop doing something. Etc etc Yet I have never felt his presence leave me.
Have you ever turned away from God so much that you felt His presence leave you? if so what does that feel like?

Topher Allen

It's been said that we're all riding an elephant. Our elephant (psychology calls this our intuition) decides what to do and where to go...but we're along for the ride to help our elephants the best we can. We choose why we want something...we make decisions based on what we want...but we don't choose what we want.

Then I met some Christians who made choices that seemingly went against their own interests. They rejected helping others...unless they "deserved" it. Love was a business transaction. They denied their intuitions, it seemed to me (I believe I was wrong about this). It's as if they were forced into hatred. I can't say they were loving, even. And they'd use God to justify their hatred. To help them fear.

The more I got to know them, the more I saw that they'd trained their elephants to hate. This is what made them comfortable. A hateful, fearful elephant won't get them into any trouble...it will avoid trouble at all costs (one "cost" being discriminating against others based on how they looked) ...and they won't be there for someone else who wasn't there for them. But their reasoning was flawed. It was as if they weren't even along for the ride. They simply had "faith," and didn't need reasoning.

Freud (an atheist) called our elephant our "id." He believed our ego supplied reasoning. And our superegos were kind of like our desire, I guess (our morals and lessons we learn along the way...that which corrupts us, too). I tried to reject my superego (God) as much as possible...and in this rejection, I have found I've been able to completely lose fear of others (or hatred of them). I don't have an imagination that tells me to fear the "other." If a cop pulls me over, I'm not being punished...he's simply doing his job. HE has his own elephant, too. I just hope he enjoys his job, and I try to make him laugh (got me out of a ticket, too).

God is always there...sometimes for comfort. Sometimes to guide our morality. But our elephant makes our choices and we provide reasons for those choices. If we make bad choices, sometimes it seems God will justify our fear or hatred (the Bible offers many reasons to hate and fear, and it seems like God can support it some times...luckily, we have Jesus' message, though). I say...don't let this happen. Don't let hate and fear be justified. If turning from God is necessary, it'll be worth it, because He will ALWAYS be there for you when you choose love later. If God, or love, is there for you...let him cast out fear.

For there is no fear in love.

1 John 4:18

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