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Ryan Mo's house, his birthday
2003-05-18, 12:12 a.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

I woke up at 6:00am again. I don't believe it, but I know why. The same reason as last time. I had nothing to hold on to. Holding onto something makes it easier to fall asleep. I didn't even have a pillow for my head to lay on.

That kills me. I feel so sick right now, and so tired that its crazy. It is Sunday, Sunday's are terrible. Sundaes are nice. Haha, random.

Random is the essence of funny.

I brought over "The Matrix." We watched "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls." That movie actually sucked. The first one was awesome, that one was stupid. It shouldn't have been made a movie. The laughs were just me making it look like I was enjoying the movie.

Then we actually watched "The Matrix." That is a pretty good movie. "They chose the actor who could say 'whoa' the best."

"Really?"

"No, but that's been the joke, and Keanu sucks. He isn't 'The One'."

When I got to Ryan Mo's house last night, I walked up to the front porch, and I saw Ryan Mo's brother, Patrick, jump back. Then this huge red light went off, blinding me. Then it screeched. It deafened me. Not really blinding me or defening me, thank god, but I made the joke. I made my dad laugh, who was walking behind me. They tried to scare me by setting fireworks off in my face. That only would have scared me if I had gotten hit and went to the hospital. They also threw popper thingy's at me. They went off and it looked like my feet were being shot at.

Fun fun fun. Then we went into the backyard and set off a lot more fireworks. They went out into a field of deep grass, and set off a smoke white thing. It looked like war. I ran behind it, and pretended like I was getting shot. They, being Ryan Mo AND McB and Patrick, also had these rocket thingy's. These things were more like sparklers except they exploded, but didn't go anywhere. They stuck them in the ground and I went to grab one.

I picked it up and ran around. Then Pat came up to me and told me to give it to him, which I did. Bad choice, I guess. He turned around and aimed it at me. Fucker.

The little rocket thing was shooting me, or at me. Thank god it didn't hit me, I had to duck and get out of the way. McB also had picked one up, and his was taked by Ryan Mo. So, when their parents came outside, they were the ones with the rocket firing things. They got in trouble while McB and I were sitting far far away from them on the grass. That was so much fun, but really dangerous. I'm just glad nothing bad happened.

Inside we watched the Ace Ventura movie. Ryan Mo and his brother fell asleep during that. This was around 11:00pm. I got there around 9:45pm. There was a long fireworks show made by us, not including me.

I asked McB to choose between "Goldmember" and "The Matrix." He didn't care so I chose "The Matrix." McB stayed up the whole movie. That was awesome. I didn't think he would. Ryan Mo woke up for the great ending in that movie. Then he and I watched "Goldmember" while McB fell asleep. Ryan Mo fell asleep at the end, so I was all alone. 4:00am, all alone. I turned the movie off. I layed on Ryan Mo's couch. The couch was really messed up. I think that couch counts as a "rocking couch." It was not fun to lay on. I stayed up at least an hour later than everyone else. Thinking. "Pondering" as Chelsey or Doug would say. Pondering the unponderables.

I fell asleep and was happy about that. I showed my happiness to myself when Ryan Mo's cat came up and sat in my croch. I was just saying funny things to myself. I made myself laugh. Robin Williams has a funny joke about cats and I kept on saying "Who loves kitty?" You need to hear "Robin Williams: Live on Broadway" if you haven't.

It had been there a while because I had cat hair all over me. It felt good. BUT this cat had fuckin claws. And sitting where it was got kind of uncomfortable. I replaced the kitty to my belt, where its claws could not sink into me.

This morning, I asked what the name of the cat was (which I have now forgotten) and the Mo family said that the cat was stupid and a piece of crap. So no wonder this cat liked me so much. It layed on me all night. I pet it, and I rub it and I made it feel good. Pets have feelings too. Everyone has feelings. This cat wouldn't let me go. I fell asleep with it on my stomach, and that lasted about two hours. Since I woke up to pet the cat, I woke up at 6:00am. I checked McB's cell phone which had the time on it. Then it took me about 5 minutes to figure out how to turn the damn thing off.

This morning they watched "The Matrix" again. The whole Mo family and McB and I did. I had to leave though because my dad came. So I left "The Matrix" with them for McB to return to me later. We might go bowling later. Ryan Mo said he would call me.

As I've said before, I don't like bowling BUT I have had fun the last couple of times I went. Bowling with friends is a lot more fun than bowling with my mom or kids korner from so many years ago.

Ryan Mo talks in his sleep. He moans. Its terribly annoying. TERRIBLY. That was another reason I could not sleep. Listen, I like to hear things when I sleep, but Ryan Mo moaning is not on the list of things I like to hear. At ALL. So, first of all, I had nothing to listen too. I didn't want my playstation on all night so I turned off that, the only sound. AND I had no big pillow. Though, that big pillow isn't the only thing that would put me to sleep while holding onto it.

Ryan Mo started saying "NO, NO, no no" in his sleep in the middle of the night. I wanted to leave. I was like "YES, you idiot, YES!!!" That was really funny because then he calmed down and said "Yes, yes," and then stopped. So by talking back to him in his sleep is how to get him to shutup. I saw his hands through his blanket ...uh... "rearrange himself" too. That wasn't very pleasant.

So, I feel kinda sick right now. I got home and took a shower getting rid of Ryan Mo's basement smell. Haha, his house was a lot of fun.

Its Sunday, the weekend is almost over. Sunday's suck.

I also found out that this weekend, I am going up north for my first time this year. Yay!...I think. This is with my family. Oh, I don't know.

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