Funny Law of the Day: "In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons."
Since the lovely Vicky has been coming up to me everyday after my wonderful class, Science, with a handful of papers from the library at Williamston High School with jokes printed in ink, I have been going to a couple jokes websites. So, I should have jokes of the days now. That'll give y'all a reason to come back here and enjoy my diary entries, eh?
Other highlights of my days have been spend pretending to be depressed and angry. The sad part about that is that I am always totally honest in my diary entries. Perhaps pretending was a bad idea. I wonder how I thought that would help. I do not pretend anyways, I was only fooling. But perhaps if you all thought I was pretending, you wouldn't take me seriously. Nobody should.
This'll be my second entry for tonight, so I believe I think I reckon y'all go back and read yourselves anotha.
I went to my pal McB's house today and watched part of a movie entitled "Jawanna Mann," and I'm pretty certain I didn't spell that right. It was about a man who got kicked off a basketball team and transformed himself into a woman so he could play on the women's team. I didn't really find the movie funny though. So it was kind of a waste of time, but hey, we all waste time, right? So I don't really think it was a waste. Time is slipping away and we can't stop it, so why not be lazy and be free? Why worry about not killing time? Time must be suicidal if we cannot stop it.
All of a sudden I get an urge to look at my older entries and pull out quotes I have said. Wow, as I look at all of my entries, my urge has grown stronger. I just might do that one of these days. DAMMIT!
I hate procrastination because then I never do it. Actually, I've already planned on making what I've written so far an entry, and I wanna put "Quotes" as a side link and I don't want you to read THIS while trying to find quotes. And besides, this is an quote from an unknown person: I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
*Pets Shadow while her head rests on my knee*
As I watched todays episode of "The Simpsons," I thought about my entry, from earlier. Then I pictured everybody driving in their cars, showing their licenses to me. Then I started to cry. So then I pretended I was a cop, and their registration was being shown to me also.
I've had weird thoughts about money. There's so much I want to do with it now, but I feel the need to save it for the future. Why am I always thinking about the future? Stop thinking about the future, because it never comes.
There's a quote for ya.
But I want to spend money on going out to eat and renting movies. Oh man, renting movies kills my money and they're so cheap that I don't even realize it. Will I ever need the money I have right now? Should I put it in a bank?
When I was up north this summer, my mom had me read a book. It was about handling money. I forget the title of it, but the author's on the back were wearing funny looking hats. Perhaps they thought their book was funny. Perhaps they were right. Their book was a joke. It was dumb. It told me to put all of my money in the stock market.
I don't think Martha Stewart read the book and took it seriously.
The book had many tables of how much money you could make. That's about it. After 5 chapters, I put the book down and read "How to be an actor." That book was handy, but made me worry about getting an agent and getting an apartment. I actually skimmed through that book and counted that as my only book I have ever read in one night. I read all of Vicky's highlighted sentences.
Money though, I feel like I have a lot. I get paid during the summer when I work for my grandpa. That's pretty much it. My parents don't give me an allowance. They once made one, and started paying me five dollars every two weeks. Then I heard McB's parents paid him 20 dollars every two weeks. That's insane, to me. I learned Vicky gets an allowance too, but I don't know how much. Probably 20 dollars every week.
Well, I don't ask for money or get money from my parents.
I actually don't really like money. Money is all over, and people kill for it, and people lose kids over it, and it seems like one of the most important things in the world. Money itself is worthless.
I will have no money when I get older, I will give it to charity, and whoever builds my house. Charities, I have no idea what charity's there are, but I'm sure most people in the world feel like a charity. I'd give my money to some place where people around the world would know I'm giving the money. I want to give money not only so people can feel better, but so I can feel better also. For some reason, publicity will mean a lot to me if I ever get it.
The future is not all about money, I know its not. Sadly, I know this more than most people out there. I'll probably be proved wrong by one of these people. Life is not for the money.
Life is for living. Maybe learning, if you don't count school. Like I always say "I learn something new everyday, just not in school." School sucks, after kindergarden or maybe Elementary School, we really don't need it.
Okay, I've written enough.
JOKE OF THE DAY: There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic.
"You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy... you explain the kids."
~~~~
Okay, okay, I'm gonna stop writing...right...about...NOW!
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