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SO Many Problems, So Little Time
2003-09-23, 7:47 p.m.

WARNING!!!! If you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of reading things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is okay to read, save yourself, and me, the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, I.E. my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. This I hope you keep in mind, and thank you for reading.

So much stuff can happen in so little time. Things could change so quickly that sometimes you don't even notice it. Things can happen when you're not looking, and later, they can effect you greatly.

Today was an awesome day, school was okay, though Vicky and Chelsey were gone. Ms. "Goorish" said that she got a call from Vicky telling her that she was sick. I went around telling people that Vicky was "sick in bed" but then had to explain that I wasn't talking kinky. Chels had a funeral to go to, and left during third hour (I'm guessing, she said third or fourth). First hour with Chels was okay, kinda funny after Justin told me about him breaking his calculator. Poor guy.

Lunch, I sat with a friend named Kelly who was in my hour before that, Spanish. She sat with Bekah and a couple of other girls. Other girls who seemed really quiet. Ashli was there too, and so was I until her upperclassmen ugly-ass boyfriend came and made out with her. Then I talked to Byrdman, who I should be talking to a lot more often. I had talked to him a couple days earlier saying "Byrdman, are you alright? We're all worried about you, you look so...down these days."

Then I told him to start seeing us at lunch more often. Then we talked about movies, like old times...really old times.

After school I went to see my sick sweety at her house who had been lying on the hard floor of her kitchen. I got her up, she was cooking soup. All day I had been waiting till after school, imagining that I could carry her to the couch or something, make her something warm to drink, and kiss her on the forehead. She took better care of me though, giving me throat drops and a pill for my head, which has taken great effect. I love her.

I walked to Mom's office, leaving at 4:15pm, and she took me to segment 2 of driver's education. Karlie was there. She was with Sara and Rachel, two of which had been in the first one. The other Sara who is still harassed today about the way she says "DEE" was not there.

That was fun, Doug was there, we had a grand ol' time. It was taking notes and we had a little test which I would have gotten two wrong but Doug wouldn't have let that happen, and neither would I to him, "We're in this together."

Fun fun fun.

I drove Mom home and at home, the Fat One was playing basketball. I walked past her quickly with my head down. She kicked the basketball at me.

*This is where all Hell breaks loose*

The Fat One kicked the ball at me and it hit me square in the back. What a perfect shot for someone who "didn't mean to do it."

I chucked the ball right back at her, and since I SUCK, I missed, and it flew into the neighbor's yard. The Fat One was running away from me, scared that I was gonna get her back. You should of seen that fat peice of shit running with her hands over her head, not covering her head, just over her head, shaking "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

I came in and got online. Mom told me not to unless someone got the ball from the neighbor's yard, well, Goddammit, I told the Fat One to get it. I logged off and waiting for the Fat One to storm outside. I SAW HER, so I got back online. I saw Doug on, who was "idle" at the time, he had not yet gotten back from Driver's Ed.

Then Dad came storming downstairs "GET OFF THE COMPUTER!"

"WHY!?"

"Because...I...said...so."

"There's gonna be hell to pay," I said so nobody could hear, this is my new favorite line. Dad and Mom have both said it to me.

I got off, scared that I might lose my computer privelages, am I smart or what? And as I was, Mom came in, holding Diana in both her arms screaming "I AM FURIOUS AT THE BOTH OF YOU!!"

I smiled. "DIANA JUST GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A ROCK!"

"WHAT!!!!!" I screamed!!! "WHY!?!"

Mom got a phone call and all the problems seemed to fade away. She sounded so happy, and was LAUGHING! I hate when that happens. Phone calls make me so sick when they're after fights. And they always seem to happen then. And this fight was not even close to being over.

After she got off, "SO NOW THAT YOU'RE DISGUSTINGLY HAPPY, YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!!"

Dad came downstairs. "Don't talk to your mother like that"

"DAD, TELL ME WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH YOU!! WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO GET OFF THE COMPUTER!?!"

I was told about how the Fat One was NOT going to get the basketball, and that Diana, the little sweetheart that she is was gonna get it for her. This made the Fat One furious and she ran out calling Diana names. The Fat One has learned yet another NEW word to add to her vocabulary..."slut."

The Fat One picked up two rocks from the cement and threw them. Mom saw one fly past Diana. Then she saw Diana grab her head. This was at the same time I SAW HER go outside to get the ball, she was storming out there getting it.

I asked Diana if she was okay, worried, asking her where it hit. It hit the lower part of her skull, she was fine now, she was okay, thank God. "Mom, just to let you know, where that hit, it could have been a lot worse."

"I know!"

The Fat One didn't get dinner or anything tonight. She was sent to her room for the night.

After dinner, I asked Mom to drive me up to Mammoth Video to return "The Exorcist." I talked to her about how I hated "pointless crap" like that, and I hated Dad causing all these problems and how he treats me. When Mom explained to me how Diana was hit on the head, Dad just sat down and read the newspaper. I didn't want to get off the computer, but I would have to see if Diana was alright, and so I could understand why the Fat One was throwing rocks. The Fat One causes, starts all the shit that happens, however way you put it, she does.

"How does Dad treat you badly?" Mom asked me in the car.

"Well, you wouldn't notice," I started and got into my conversation with Roxanne, my therapist, "She started crying."

I then told Mom about the cruise, about Nona and Papa's house, about the "serial killer" look, and I told Diana, who was there. I told Mom about how I think Dad's been making phone calls to Papa about how his life sucks and that I was doing bad in school. I told her everything, driving around Williamston. We drove around for about half an hour, talking. I even told her when it came the time that Roxanne's eyes were wet. "I can see why."

I don't know if she believed everything, but then I talked about how I cried in the bathroom that one night on the cruise. Mom started crying too, right there with me in the car.

Mom told me about what Nona and Papa thought about me on the cruise. Mom said that Nona and Papa thought that I didn't have a good time on the cruise. BUT...after they saw the video I filmed, the family cruise movie on the digital camera, after they saw this, they, then, believed that I had a good time, and were happy that I had such a good time, but they could only see it on the video.

"Well Mom, I am actually a good actor."

When we got home, in the driveway, Mom made me give her a hug, and then Diana joined it. "Group hug!"

Happy ending?

The Fat One was just (like seconds ago!!) sent to her room again, she came downstairs, and after she was sent to her room again, she hit Mom. Its like NOTHING has happened tonight! DAMN!

Well, I'm fine, I'm online, happy, Dad's at a meeting, and the Fat One is in her room again. Mom's helping Diana with her homework, and Diana is perfectly fine.

The End

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