I've just woken up. I felt so heavy on my unmade bed. Vicky hadn't made my bed so I had come home to a weird looking bed. I searched around not being able to see the clocks I have because of my temporary blindness. Mornings always start out like this. Wait...is it morning? I can't even tell. I found a piece of paper next to me. It was a letter, the letter from Vicky she gave me at school. The bottom of my sheet was to my face. The top of my comforter was though. Ahh, Vicky HAD made my bed the night before, but it was after school. Wait a second, oh God its 5:30pm. Damn. Usually when I say I include Vicky's name, but I cannot think time except to say that I never returned her phonecall.
What happened today?
I remember today starting out terrible. Science, I had a test. Through half of it I started thinking about all those people who can finish so quickly and could be done when I'm sitting here on question 12 and Chelsey's on question 22. Its early in the morning at this time, and I have the same heavy feeling I do now. Once I sleep hard I sleep HARD. I don't wanna get up ever. I said to Chels this morning "School should start later, then everyone would be doing better in school." I cannot get up earlier and not go to bed earlier.
On question 12 I thought through the process of elimination, murdering every answer that was on there that shouldn't have been. I knew these answers, but I still ending up guessing on this question 12. I started moving faster, proving to myself that I do not need more sleep. Dammit, I didn't do my math homework for last night. Okay, question 22, easy, question 47...wow, I'm really far...question 55, done...with the multiple choice. The only stuff I had no clue on how to do a day before and the only stuff I spent hours of figuring out after telling myself I couldn't...well, there were only two questions of this sort of thing. Needless to say now, but I got them right and if there is some way that Jim the Science teacher could mark them down, I am just totally gonna...shit my pants. Then I'll laugh about it and not care for the rest of the day until I get home with Vicky.
The next hour, English turned out to be sucky also. It started off where the news show Channel One actually had an interestin topic and one that Ms. "Goorish" would have told me to listen up to: The Kennedy Assassination. This is my topic for the damned research paper. I learned today how rude other people are during this thing. Kenji, a person I really do not like who sits behind me started saying anything that could make me not hear the show. When I am actually trying to listen, I notice how people bother me. Kenji pissed me off, I wanted to tell him to shut up but instead the substitute teacher turned the volume up. I was filled with hate and I just wanted that shit to shut the fuck up! Then he started talking to Jake who debates about everything and this is also starting to bother me. Jake explained the assassination and how a bullet went into someone's hand which made it impossible for it to have gone through Kennedy's arm. Criminal masterminds could have thought it up, I'm sure. We don't know who really killed Kennedy. One guy had a rifle, that's good enough for me, he went to jail.
Anyway, I could complain a little more about Jamie also during today, but instead, after all that, we went to the library. I was sitting in my seat actually working on where I was supposed to go in the internet. Then Jake came up to me and asked to use the computer. I said "Sure, here you go, I'll wait till you're done, I want to do other stuff as well."
So he sat in my seat when someone else got up. They had a cool computer, so I sat down for that one and asked if they were coming back. They weren't. Wow, I never get these computers. Too bad for me it didn't work because my log in was already in use, by Jake. Damn, so I had to wait. I saved my computer until Jake was done when he got up. I went over to get him off my log in name because he didn't himself, and when I turned around, HE WAS ON MY COMPUTER! HE took my good computer and I asked him to use the other one if he still wanted the internet.
"I couldn't get the internet to work on that one."
Well what the hell? I sat down hard on my old computer on which I could not get the internet to work. It didn't. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I almost cried. Why do I ALWAYS get screwed. There were so many things I could have done differently just now that would allow me happiness, but I am a screw up. I always get screwed, one way or another.
I'm not saying my life sucks. Figure of speech again, and maybe a little bit of a durastic attitude. So don't worry about me, never do, I'm always alright. I'm not blaming any of you either. Some people, and too many people think that blame falls on them. I'm one of these people. Don't worry, I'm fine now.
All day I was fine, no more problems. I was alright, I was fine.
Its just that everyone is so selfish. This was JAKE! I would have thought he would feel bad about taking my nice computer. I didn't get any work done because of him, but oh well. I would not have done that to anyone else. Math was good, Spanish I remember being really good, I like Sra. Spanish Teacher, she's a lot of fun. History was good and Drama was...funny. This big guy named Jordan gave Laura a hug. She said something of which has left my mind, but I told her "Hey, I never get hugs from that guy." He acted like a Grandpa welcoming a child as a joke, until later, he actually hugged me. "AAH what are you doing!"
Funny. Alec is a cool actor in drama. He is kind of a jerk sometimes, but he's really funny. I have always liked him for his comedy. He thinks a lot of things are stupid, but he's funny. He's rough though, he puches guys for comedic reasons, I guess. He's like that. I don't know why anyone is. Someone told him to punch me, and then he said "No, I like Chris."
Hmm...I felt warm and good all over for some reason.
I thought about Vicky here too, she tells me she loves me so much I never get a chance to feel warmed and really loved by it. I know she loves me, and that is that. I feel good about it and lucky that I have her, but not every single time she says it.
Alec and Jordan...totally different guys, and they're GUYS who made me feel warm and good all over. This is weird today. That class has made me terribly homophobic even though nobody is gay in the class. Its just been what everyone's talked about. Odd class, but fun, really fun.
Good day today it turned out to be. Not just another day. I feel confident in my answers on the science test, which I had to finish after school.
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